64 - Connections

MAT
Episode 64: Connections

SOPHIA
Hello, listeners! This is another vignette episode, so we’ll be jumping around a bit. First, we’ll visit Parker, who moved out of Max’s apartment last season because of his feelings for Elijah. He’s about to walk in on Blue Moon recording one of his… videos. Let’s begin.

BLUE MOON
Hey there, Mooners. It’s your boy, Blue. It’s time for another ASMR video. I know last week you listened to me eating carrots, but I wanted to try something new and extremely sexy. Today we’re listening to all the sounds you can make with a balloon. For a little preview, we’re gonna do some heavy blowing, some friction and rubbing, bouncing, and my favorite part, the sweet, sweet release. Oh yeah, that’s real nice.

PARKER
Uhh, Blue, what the heck are you doing?

BLUE
Oh, hey, Parker! I was making a new video for my Herofans account.

PARKER
Uhh, sorry, I thought I reserved the training room for this morning. I was gonna do some ceiling work.

BLUE
Oh, you can reserve the training rooms? My bad!

PARKER
(laugh) It’s fine. I could use the company.

BLUE
What do you mean by “ceiling work?”

PARKER
It’s like normal exercise, but upside down. On the ceiling.

BLUE
Doesn’t all the blood rush to your head?

PARKER
Well, yeah, that’s why I’m training. As someone who walks on walls, gravity is not my friend. I need to be on the top of my game, especially with all the chaos in Rose City.

BLUE
Tell me about it. New villains and henchies are popping up all over the place.

PARKER
Seriously. I was helping Lucid Lucy and Crampus look for that serial killer, the YeastMaster, yesterday, and we kinda stumbled across a group of henchies. I got punched in the face, but Crampus took them all down pretty quickly.

BLUE
Oh! I remember Noelle from Red Thorn Ranch. She gives a mean foot rub.

PARKER
She’s getting even better at controlling her cramping powers. The henchies, a group called the Meatheads, didn’t stand a chance.

BLUE
Were they literally people with heads made of meat?

PARKER
I wish! No, the Meatheads are Slim Jim, Chicken Little, and Sloppy Joey.

BLUE
Ooh, I’m used to guessing these with Pitch, let me try, let me try! Ummm… Is Sloppy Joey someone who always spills coffee? Cuz coffee is “a cup—o-Joe?”

PARKER
Not even close. Sloppy Joey is a man trapped in the body of a baby kangaroo. His tactic is pretending to be an innocent little joey, then when someone gets close, he disembowels them with his strong little kangaroo feet. That’s the sloppy part.

BLUE
Harsh! Hmm. Is Slim Jim a skinny guy named James? And is Chicken Little just a tiny evil chicken?

PARKER
Nice try, but no. Slim Jim’s power is apparently to release a concussive wave of energy every time he breaks a bone. When we fought him yesterday, he said “snap into a Slim Jim!” and then broke one of his fingers. The finger-blast threw us back against a wall before Crampus charlie-horsed their asses.

BLUE
Heh. You just said “finger-blast.”

PARKER
You know what I mean!

BLUE
What about Chicken Little?

PARKER
Oh. I mean, yeah, you were basically right. She’s an evil chicken, but she’s not just tiny——she’s able to shrink down to the size of a freakin’ bug! She tried attacking Lucid Lucy, but I intercepted and swatted her out of the way.

BLUE
So you cock-blocked her?

PARKER
Stop it! Technically, I think cocks are male chickens. Chicken Little was a hen.

BLUE
Did you learn that animal stuff from when you dated Max?

PARKER
You… you know about that?

BLUE
Cassie loves to gossip. She spilled ALL the tea.

PARKER
That’s not surprising. What… What did she tell you?

BLUE
Yeah, no, I’m not playing that game. If you’re concerned about privacy, don’t worry. I show and tell the world a lot in my videos, but I can still keep a secret.

PARKER
It’s not a secret that I used to date Max back in college. I just didn’t want everyone knowing about my stupid crush on Elijah. It’s… embarrassing.

BLUE
Dude, you have a crush on the Beacon?

PARKER
Aw, come on, really? Cassie didn’t tell you that?

BLUE
Does Cassie even know that?

PARKER
She… uhh… huh. I guess not. As far as I know, only Max and Elijah know why I moved out six months ago. And probably Tammy and Linus, because Max would’ve definitely told them. But… yeah. I guess no one told Cassie.

BLUE
Now I know, too, but don’t worry. My lips, unlike the back of my romper, are completely sealed.

PARKER
(sigh) I was going to comment on your ass hanging out like that, but honestly, I’m so desensitized to it, I barely notice it anymore.

BLUE
What?! Well, when you do notice it, is it still, like, you know, like, really hot?

PARKER
(laughs) Sure, it’s great. You’re not hitting on me, are you? Because I’m actually seeing someone right now.

BLUE
No! You just scared me for a sec. Who even am I without my sexy glowing cheeks?

PARKER
People don’t love you because your blue butt lights up.

BLUE
They… don’t?

PARKER
I mean, sure, it’s kinda cool. Maybe that’s what draws them in. But, they stay because you’re just really open and honest. You tell it like it is, and you’re not afraid to show the world your flaws.

BLUE
I don’t know what you mean by “flaws,” but I’ll take your word for it.

PARKER
Uhh, in your last video, you talked about how many dates you need to go on with someone before you can poop at their place.

BLUE
One date. That’s all it takes with me. If you’re embarrassed by natural bodily functions, then you’re not the person for me! Wait a minute, how is that a flaw?

PARKER
Okay, that was a bad example. I just mean, you say things that other people would never dare to say in a bajillion years, especially to a worldwide audience!

BLUE
I get it, I get it. I wasn’t always this forthright. One of my first videos, I accidentally uploaded the raw file instead of the polished version, and that post is what went viral and got me so much attention. The combination of my luminous fanny with unedited candor made me a household name, so I decided to ride the wave. That’s why I used to do so many livestreams— No chance to second guess myself.

PARKER
This is going to sound bad, but I used to think influencers were shallow and lazy. Seeing how much time and care you put into your videos… I don’t think you’re lazy anymore.

BLUE
That… means a lot. Thanks. I’m still shallow, though, right? I don’t hate being shallow.

PARKER
(laughs) Yes, I still think you’re shallow.

BLUE
Oh good, I thought I might have changed reality by accident! Hey, wait, you said before that you’re seeing someone? Since when?

PARKER
Oh, it’s, uhh, kinda new. It’s not crazy serious yet, we’re just having fun, but… we’re definitely in a relationship.

BLUE
Is that why you’ve been avoiding most of the Second Fiddles meetings? I’ve seen you duck out early, or say you’re going to patrol, even though it’s not your turn.

PARKER
Oh, you noticed that?

BLUE
I’m shallow, but I’m sharp. I like to think I have great observational skills!

PARKER
Most of the time when I leave, yeah, I’m seeing my new… boy… friend. But really, it’s still awkward between me and Elijah. Not so much with Max, but it’s hard to be around them together.

BLUE
You really like him, don’t you?

PARKER
Liked. Past tense. I don’t feel that way anymore.

BLUE
Ah, so you got over him by being under someone else, eh?

PARKER
Not exactly, but some distance and perspective made all the difference. My feelings faded, but not the embarrassment.

BLUE
I get that, my dude. That’s how I feel about the video where I almost died.

PARKER
I thought that was pulled down! It was… very graphic.

BLUE
Once something’s on the internet, you can never really get rid of it. Seeing Sally Mander flambé my body is something that no one should ever see, but… literally millions of people have watched it. It’s mortifying. I can bend reality, but I couldn’t stop her from throwing a fireball at me.

PARKER
It’s not your fault! You didn’t know about the Reality Gem stuff back then.

BLUE
Still, though… I thought I would react differently.

PARKER
To what? A supervillain attacking you?

BLUE
I was expecting a fight or flight reaction. That’s what they always say, right? It’s instinct. Fight or flight. Well, there’s a third F they left out.

PARKER
Uhhh… do you mean… BLEEP?

BLUE
Ha! I wish. No, I mean freeze. I didn’t do… anything. I froze in place. I didn’t even duck! I’ve rewatched it so many times. If I’d just sidestepped a little, the fireball would’ve missed me. Then I could’ve used my sapphire rump to calm her down. Back then, I could at least use the power of suggestion.

PARKER
Dude, who expects a stranger in the woods to walk up to you while you’re naked, and then try to burn you alive? There were extenuating circumstances!

BLUE
But I knew she was a bad guy! I’m too trusting. Good things have always happened to me, and I used to take my privilege for granted. I mean, how could someone want to kill me? I’m not some great hero. I’m not worth killing.

PARKER
Is that why you feel bad about it? Because you don’t feel like you deserve to be killed?

BLUE
Exactly! Who am I to put the ASS in assassination? Whoa. Hearing it out loud, that’s really BLEEPed up, isn’t it?

PARKER
Uhh, yeah. You know you were supposed to join Second Fiddles and help us against MacGuffin in an alternate timeline, that’s why he targeted you.

BLUE
I guess it just doesn’t feel real. Being told I was going to be a hero, when I was actually just a charbroiled loser, doesn’t make me feel any more heroic.

PARKER
You’re not a loser, Blue. You’re really brave. The way you stood up to Rose and outed the cult…? That took some balls.

BLUE
Really? You think so? Are my balls… as nice as my ass?

PARKER
Oh my god, you really can’t help yourself, can you?

BLUE
Hey, we agreed that I’m shallow!

PARKER
Okay, now that that’s all out of your system, I seriously have to start training.

BLUE
Sure, sure. (beat) Hey, uhh, Parker?

PARKER
Yes?

BLUE
Do you think after you’re done, we could hang out for a bit? I’ve been spending too much time with Cassie, and it would be great to have a friend who isn’t a whiny teenager. You could tell me about your new guy, if you want!

PARKER
Ha! Yeah, that would be nice, Blue.

BLUE
Cool! Okay, back to work. This balloon isn’t going to blow itself up!

PARKER
No! Do that somewhere else!

BLUE
Come on, please?

PARKER
No way!

BLUE
Aww, boo!

SOPHIA
Still with us? Wonderful! Now we’re checking in with Max. If you remember, Max’s adopted bird daughter, Eloise, found a mate and started having babies, so he doesn’t see her as often since she… “Left the nest?” Really? I’m expected to use a bird idiom for an actual bird? This is lazy writing! If anything, I would say that Eloise made her own nest, but peregrine falcons don’t build nests, so that wouldn’t make sense either! I apologize. I have opinions. Let’s begin the next scene.

MAX
Hey, Cassie, you made it!

CASSIE
You said it was an emergency, so I got here as quick as I could! What’s wrong with Eloise?!

MAX
Oh, she’s fine. I was just testing your powers.

CASSIE
Max! Seriously?!

MAX
What? I was curious if your powers would teleport you here or give you super speed or something.

CASSIE
I was actually busy when you called me!

MAX
Sorry! I wanted to know if your powers work when YOU think there’s a problem, versus when there’s actually a problem.

CASSIE
What?

MAX
But, since it didn’t work, I think that backs up my hypothesis that your powers have a sort of sentience, or awareness.

CASSIE
So they’re not tied to my own sense of survival?

MAX
Oh, I think they are, but in an extremely nuanced way.

CASSIE
How so?

MAX
Most of the time, your Deus Ex Machina powers are activated when you’re in direct danger, or when you’re in a pickle, like when you teleported home when you ran out of toilet paper.

CASSIE
Yeah, that wasn’t exactly a life-or-death situation.

MAX
And, using that example, I’m also thinking your power isn’t about survival, necessarily, just about your overall well-being. It’s like a metaphorical shield or buffer preventing you from experiencing distress.

CASSIE
Then why didn’t it work on my way here?

MAX
I think it was aware that there wasn’t any actual danger, so it didn’t take it seriously. Hence, a sort of awareness.

CASSIE
Well, that sucks. I hate how confusing my powers are!

MAX
Yeah, you keep throwing us curveballs. You’ve gotta have the hardest power-set to categorize that I’ve ever heard of.

CASSIE
Typical.

MAX
Like, we used to think it was just about your safety, until it teleported you downtown during the battle against the Threat. It allowed you to save Ren’s life, but didn’t actually contribute to saving the world.

CASSIE
I’ve actually thought about this a lot. Ren is kind of the most important person in my life— please don’t tell her I said that— and, if something happened to her, it might as well kill me too, so that’s why I think it helped her.

MAX
And what about when it teleported you to Red Thorn Ranch?

CASSIE
I’m not sure. Ren wasn’t in danger yet, and neither was I. Without me slapping Blue’s butt and breaking Rose’s hold over his powers, though, Elijah and Linus and everyone else might’ve died, too. And even though you’re all the worst sometimes, I do care about you, and I like being a member of Second Fiddles, so maybe that’s why I helped them?

MAX
Huh. Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe your powers have an awareness of the future, too. Like, if Rose had kept using Blue to warp reality, it might’ve eventually led to Ren’s death, or something. I don’t know.

CASSIE
Maybe. Hey, you know, I haven’t been up on this rooftop since the night Sally Mander died.

MAX
Really?

CASSIE
Well, yeah, why else would anyone go to the top of the Fulcrum building?

MAX
Good point. I come up here all the time to visit Eloise, and Gale said it’s her favorite spot in the city. It’s where she met Parker for the first time, and like you said, it was where Sally… fell. It’s kind of an important place to a bunch of us now.

CASSIE
Where is Gale lately, anyway? She’s texted me a few times, but she hasn’t been to a meeting in a while.

MAX
It’s her last semester at Rose Academy, so she asked for some time off to focus on school. I don’t blame her. The last semester at most colleges is typically easy, but at Rose Academy, they really put you through the wringer to make sure you’re ready to become a certified hero.

CASSIE
When you called me to come here, I was filling out my application to Rose Academy. I’ve been putting off for weeks.

MAX
Really? You’re a total shoe-in. I could make a call and get you admitted in like 3 seconds. No one would turn away “Deus Ex Machina!”

CASSIE
It’s not about that! I know I’d get in. I’m just not sure if I want to.

MAX
What do you mean? All you ever talk about is being a hero. You already have crazy powerful abilities, now all you need is some guidance and training.

CASSIE
Aren’t I getting that from you, though?

MAX
You’re a part-time reserve member. Like I’ve said a million times, the leagues want us to keep an eye on you, to make sure you’re not led down the wrong path.

CASSIE
I’m not gonna become a bad guy, if that’s what they’re worried about! I just really don’t like school.

MAX
I can relate. Well, kind of? I loved learning, and taking classes, like the school part of it, but socially, after Parker left me, and Linus got everyone making fun of me, it was a nightmare. I hated every minute of it when I wasn’t with Eloise.

CASSIE
Have you seen Eloise already today?

MAX
Yeah, we were hanging out a few minutes before you showed up.

CASSIE
How is she doing?

MAX
Well, mating season is about to start up again, so she’ll be doing the nasty with her mate Theo again and having more babies, so that’s fun.

CASSIE
I forgot, how many did she end up having last year?

MAX
Her clutch had 4 eggs, but only 3 survived.

CASSIE
Did you name them after Bridgerton characters too?

MAX
Ha! No, I didn’t name them anything. Eloise and I discussed it, and we didn’t want them imprinting on humans, for their own safety. I only saw them from a distance after they fledged.

CASSIE
Aww, you never got to meet your grandbabies?!

MAX
It doesn’t work that way. It’s totally fine. They’re wild animals— I don’t want to interfere with nature.

CASSIE
It was nice seeing Eloise join you for a few missions over the winter.

MAX
Yeah. We always work so well together, but I know it’s not really in her to be my fighting partner anymore. She has other priorities now.

CASSIE
She’s growing up! It’s natural, right?

MAX
There’s nothing natural about a bird imprinting on an animal telepath. It made her like 10 times smarter than a normal falcon, which is awesome, and I love the time I get to spend with her, but sometimes I feel like she might’ve been better off without me. Lived a normal life, you know? I never even waited to see if her parents were around when I found her, I just took her out of a desperate need to make a connection.

CASSIE
Have you ever thought of talking to a therapist?

MAX
I’ve thought about it. Why? Am I that pathetic?

CASSIE
You’re not pathetic! I’m just saying, mental health is really important for everyone, especially heroes like us who have the weight of the world on our shoulders. Sophia set me up with a psychologist for superpowered people who sometimes works with the A-league.

MAX
Who’s the psychologist? I haven’t heard of anyone like that.

CASSIE
Well it’s not like they advertise their identity. If villains found out that there was someone who knew every hero’s secret fears or flaws, they’d become a target.

MAX
Oh. That makes sense. Do they at least have a punny name?

CASSIE
Yeah, but it’s so cheesy, I don’t even want to tell you.

MAX
Aww, pretty please?

CASSIE
She’s a giant talking owl. And her name is…

MAX
Oh my god, it’s Doctor Hoot, isn’t it?

CASSIE
Ugh, yes.

MAX
Doctor Hoot. That’s amazing.

CASSIE
If you ever want her contact info, let me know. You already have a habit of talking to birds, so it seems appropriate.

MAX
Thanks, Cassie. And, not to sound like a parental figure or anything, but you should really consider going to Rose Academy. Even though I hated a lot of my experience, there are always tutors who can help you with the actual schoolwork. I think you’ll be fine, socially.

CASSIE
I don’t know.

MAX
When’s the deadline for application?

CASSIE
Next week.

MAX
Oh, geez, yeah, get that in ASAP.

CASSIE
But what if I don’t want to go?

MAX
Who cares? You still need to apply and get in first. After that, you can still make the decision not to attend. It’s up to you. If you don’t get the ball rolling, though, you won’t even have that option unless you try again next year.

CASSIE
Fine, geez. I’ll send in the application. But I’m not promising anything!

MAX
That’s okay! We can talk about this more if you want.

CASSIE
I’d rather jump off the roof right now.

MAX
Hey, might as well.

CASSIE
Max! That’s mean!

MAX
No, I mean, you would probably just grow wings and fly away. Your powers would never let you hit the ground.

CASSIE
Could I… could I try?

MAX
Oh! Like, right now?

CASSIE
Duh!

MAX
Uhh, no, if Ren ever found out she would kill me.

CASSIE
Ugh, you’re no fun!

MAX
I’m not supposed to be fun. I’m your supervisor!

CASSIE
You know what? I’m sick of playing by everyone else’s rules. See ya later!

MAX
Cassie, don’t you dare.

CASSIE
Too late! Here goes nothing!

MAX
Cassie! Stop!

CASSIE
(grunt of exertion jumping off of building)
(laugh-screaming/woohooing)

MAX
Cassie!!!

CASSIE
Oof!

MAX
Oh thank god! You’re okay!

CASSIE
Aww, come on, I’d barely even started to freefall before I teleported back up here.

MAX
Holy BLEEP, what were you thinking?

CASSIE
I already told you! I’m sick of living by your rules. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and I’ll still be okay. This proves it!

MAX
You’re gonna be the death of me. If the stress doesn’t kill me, your sister will, when she finds out what you just did!

CASSIE
Then don’t tell her!

MAX
That’s not how this works! I have to write up a report now, and update the whole team.

CASSIE
Whatever. I’m kind of sad I didn’t turn to rubber and bounce back up, or grow wings. Teleporting is so basic.

MAX
Get inside right now, or else I’m kicking you off the team!

CASSIE
Do you even have the authority to do that?

MAX
I don’t know, but just keep pushing my buttons, and you’ll find out.

CASSIE
You look so pissed.

MAX
I really thought we were connecting today. I thought I was actually getting through to you. I— I can’t believe you.

CASSIE
Max…

MAX
No. No, I’m done. This isn’t a game. This is literally life and death, and you just don’t get it.

CASSIE
I- I’m sorry! I just—

MAX
Inside, Cassie. Now!

CASSIE
Okay, okay…

SOPHIA
It seems like Max really has his hands full with Cassie. Teenagers can be atrocious! That’s why I prefer cats. Now let’s move onto Linus. MacGuffin, who is thankfully still out of commission—you’re welcome—had an extremely contentious relationship with his brother, Fourth Wall. Because of this familial divide, Linus hasn’t seen his Uncle since he was a child…

LINUS
Hey, uhh, sorry to barge in, but the door was wide open…

WALL
I knew you were coming, so I left it open for you.

LINUS
Of course you did.

WALL
I would ask what brings my nephew here, after all this time, but I already know the answer. You need more intel on the Eternity Gems.

LINUS
Right to the point, I see.

WALL
What were you expecting? A sentimental conversation with the uncle you’ve been actively avoiding for years?

LINUS
Hey, you’ve been avoiding me, too. You didn’t even come to Sally’s wake!

WALL
I sent flowers with my former sidekick!

LINUS
Yeah. I got them. But sending Elijah just showed how little you really care.

WALL
Linus, I don’t know you well enough to care. Just because I’m your uncle, it doesn’t mean I automatically have to love you. That’s not how it works.

LINUS
I know that, I’m not an idiot.

WALL
Then why do you seem surprised? You know how much I detest my brother. He’s likely been telling you how awful I am since you were old enough to understand language.

LINUS
Well, yeah, but you already knew that. The last time I saw you, I think it was for a family barbeque when I was like seven? You and Dad got into a huge fight, and Aunt Patti had to break it up. I haven’t seen you since.

WALL
Yes, I admit I’ve been quite absent, but you know your father. And your sister. Both monsters. Thankfully, you take after your mother.

LINUS
Last time I saw my cousin April, she told me how the two of you get lunch every month or so, and I admit… I got a little jealous.

WALL
Just because I look and sound like your father, I can’t fill that paternal void in your life. My brother was a horrible father, and you’ll be suffering the aftereffects of that trauma your entire life.

LINUS
If you knew that, why didn’t you stop him?

WALL
Why didn’t you stop him yourself? It’s not up to me to give you a backbone. You could have trapped him in a forcefield and suffocated him. Easy solution.

LINUS
For being a superhero, you’re pretty nonchalant about murder.

WALL
I make an exception for MacGuffin. Nice idea, by the way, using Recall and Retcon to wipe his mind and send him back to infancy. Genius.

LINUS
I kind of regretted it afterward, especially because it didn’t motivate my Mom to leave her journal like I thought it would, but I’ve come to terms with it. He got what he deserved.

WALL
That he did.

LINUS
And I heard from Blue Moon that he helped with your… brain? Is that true?

WALL
Yes, my cognitive impairment was worsening, and he used his reality warping powers to fix me. My clairvoyance hasn’t been this clear since my 20’s!

LINUS
Congrats… I guess. That was nice of him.

WALL
Yeah, yeah… These Eternity Gems are insanely powerful, nephew, so you need to be careful. You’re dealing with something beyond your reach.

LINUS
I know, I know. Before we talk about that, I need to apologize.

WALL
Oh! For what?

LINUS
Just because you ghosted us, that doesn’t mean I’m without fault. I could’ve reached out after Dad’s mind-wiping, but I…

WALL
You don’t need to apologize. I understand. You were busy tracking down your forgotten girlfriend, and then meeting your long-lost sister. That’s a lot.

LINUS
Speaking of Silver… Would you be interested in seeing her? She’s mentioned wanting to meet you, but I didn’t know what to tell her. She’s great—warm, and kind—nothing like Sally.

WALL
I didn’t remember about her until something your father said during Sally’s wake, which I was tuning into with my powers. In his eulogy, he said, while telling you about your secret sister, “there’s a Silver Lining in all this.” Don’t believe me, listeners? Go back and check it out. Episode 40, 17 minutes and 31 seconds in. He was literally telling you her name. It was an easter egg!

LINUS
Her wake wasn’t even near Easter!

WALL
Anyway, yes. I would be delighted to meet my niece.

LINUS
Great. She’ll be thrilled.

WALL
I wouldn’t mind it if you joined her, you know.

LINUS
Are you only saying that to be nice?

WALL
No. You’ve proven yourself to be a better man than I ever was, and a great hero. I’m proud of you, and I would very much like to get to know you better. If that’s okay with you.

LINUS
That sounds reasonable…

WALL
Maybe we could meet up every few weeks, like I do with April. A dinner party for three, like the ones your father used to throw for you and Sally.

LINUS
But without the veiled threats and subterfuge?

WALL
Of course. A relaxing, wholesome dinner with my family.

LINUS
Huh. It’s weird to hear you say that. I’m so used to cringing every time I think about the word “family.”

WALL
You should bring Tammy sometime, too, and her brother, Max. I know they’re your found family. They mean a lot to you.

LINUS
They do, yeah. I think that would be nice.

WALL
Okay! If I become too sentimental, I start seeing the past, and I’d rather not replay most of the 60’s and 70’s, so let’s get on with it!

LINUS
Okay. The Spirit and Dream gems. Can you remember anything else about them? Elijah found the Sight gem, so we’re on the right track.

WALL
The Spirit gem is the biggest mystery. I still can’t see anything about that. When I search the past for it, I also don’t see anything. The last time I can even sense its existence is in prehistoric times, back in the Pleistocene. After that, nothing.

LINUS
Ugh, okay. I wonder if it was destroyed?

WALL
Rose wouldn’t be looking for it if it didn’t exist, so it’s gotta be here somewhere, but in what form? I have no clue. It could be in a person, like Blue Moon, or it could be in a random rock lost in the bottom of a lake. The Beacon and DevilBat just found the Sight Gem, right? Why don’t you use it to find the others?

LINUS
Elijah already tried. When he asked it to show him the Spirit Gem, it didn’t work. He couldn’t see anything other than Max sitting across from him.

WALL
And the Dream Gem?

LINUS
When he asked the Thundercat about the Dream Gem, everything around him looked green, but that was it.

WALL
Hmm, interesting.

LINUS
I did check in with Lucid Lucy, and she said she’s on the lookout for weird dream energy, whatever the hell that means, but she has to be close to the source to detect it. That means we still need to identify the source.

WALL
I can help with that. Because of Blue Moon rejuvenating my powers, I remember that my brother did, in fact, acquire the Dream Gem.

LINUS
Seriously?! Why didn’t you reach out and tell us!

WALL
I knew you would be coming today, and I didn’t want to avoid this talk with you. You mean too much to me.

LINUS
Oh. That… means a lot. Thanks. Oh! So, the Dream Gem. Is it at the estate somewhere?

WALL
I’m not sure if you’re going to hate or love this, but the Dream Gem… is with your mother.

LINUS
What!?

WALL
The Gem is an emerald. That must be why Elijah saw green when he used the Sight gem. Your mother used to wear it on a necklace, if you recall. Your father gave it to her as a gift when he felt her start to drift away.

LINUS
I remember! She wore it every day. She used to say that her three favorite things in the world were me, her library, and her necklace.

WALL
I believe the Dream Gem awakened a new facet of her powers. Before, she could only enter books and enjoy the stories as they were written, but the Dream Gem gave her the ability to change the stories altogether.

LINUS
He gave her that as a present after Sally’s big 3rd leap year birthday party. Sally was horrible, per usual, and had disfigured our butler. Mom freaked out on Dad, and he gave her the necklace the next day. I’d always thought she started spending more time in books after that because she couldn’t stand Dad, not because her powers changed!

WALL
Well, those two things can both be true. She was growing to resent your father, AND her powers were making her dreams literally come true. That’s why she was able to write back to you in the journal. The Dream Gem allowed her to reach out into the real world from within the book.

LINUS
Whoa. So, in order to get the Dream Gem, I have to get mom to come out?

WALL
I’m afraid so.

LINUS
And what if she doesn’t want to leave? I can’t force her!

WALL
Would you rather see what happens if Rose gets to her first?

LINUS
Oh, BLEEP. No, that would be really bad.

WALL
Linus, listen to me. You need to get back in touch with Lucid Lucy the moment you leave here. Tell her everything, and show her the journal. You can trust her. She’ll be able to help you find your mother.

LINUS
Okay…

WALL
Nephew, what are you waiting for?

LINUS
Sorry, I’m just processing. I’m finally going to see Mom again!

WALL
Not if you just stand here!

LINUS
Okay! I’m going! Hey, Uncle?

WALL
Yes?

LINUS
Thank you. Seriously. We couldn’t do this without you.

WALL
You’re welcome. Now go find your mother!

LINUS
Phew! Bye!

MAX
In this episode of Second Fiddles, Max is voiced by Mat Johnson, Linus is voiced by Alex Sinicropi, Parker is voiced by Greg M, Blue Moon is voiced by Adam Donnelly, Cassie is voiced by Tatiana Reed, Fourth Wall is voiced by John Pupo, and Sophia is voiced by Robyn Rime. Theme music by Pete Johnson, and writing, producing, and sound design by Mat Johnson.

To connect with us on social media, follow us on instagram and facebook at SecondFiddlesPodcast, and tumblr at Second Fiddles. We’re also on Threads and Blue Sky! Transcripts of all of our episodes can be found at our website, secondfiddlespodcast.com. Thanks for listening!