Season 5 Trailer

BLUE
Hey, Mooners! It’s your guy, Blue. As you know, it’s Superhero Saturday, so I’m bringing you some behind-the-scenes intel on Rose City’s heroes and sidekicks. Today, my guest is none other than the antlered Second Fiddler, Buck. Hey, Bucky-boy!

MAX
Hi, Blue Moon! Being in one of your videos is… surreal. Can I wave to the camera?

BLUE
No. Stop that!

MAX
Ah! I’m just so nervous!

BLUE
Hey, use your animal telepathy power to chat with the butterflies in your stomach and tell them to calm the eff down!

MAX
Oh, I, I can’t talk to insects, their brains aren’t sophisticated enough.

BLUE
I know that! I was being poetic.

MAX
Sorry!

BLUE
Moving on…  I noticed that you don’t use your antlers for much of anything, so I put out a poll this morning asking my mooners for suggestions!

MAX
Suggestions for… my antlers?

BLUE
Yupperoonie!

MAX
Like, different ways to use them to fight crime?

BLUE
Definitely not.

MAX
Uhh, okay…

BLUE
Now it’s time to reveal the top five most
popular submissions. Ready, Buck?

MAX
Uh, I guess so? I thought I was coming on here to do a promo or trailer or something.

BLUE
We’ll get to that later!

MAX
Uhh, sure.

BLUE
Number 5: An antler Bulletin Board! If pets go missing, their human families can send you photos and contact info, you can print it all out, and stick one on each prong. You’d be a walking, talking billboard for lost pets!

MAX
Uh, yeah, I don’t think so. 

BLUE
Got it. You hate pets.

MAX
No! That’s not what I mean!

BLUE
Next! Number Four: Holiday Decorations. Depending on the time of year, you can wrap garland and tinsel around them, or springtime flowers, or even cobwebs for Halloween!

MAX
That’s not very practical. I hope one of these suggestions is about using them for defense while I’m in a fight!

BLUE
Nope. Number three: Drying laundry! Don’t want your clothes to shrink in the dryer? Air dry them by hanging them up on your head!

MAX
That’s slightly more practical, I guess…

BLUE
Number Two: Sex stuff.

MAX
Hey! No, that’s off limits!

BLUE
Handlebars on your head. Need I say more?

MAX
No, you don’t need… say… more.

BLUE
You’re less fun than I was hoping.

MAX
I’m like, really fun.

BLUE
You’re not convincing anybody of that

MAX
Ugh.

BLUE
And the number one response for how Buck can best use his antlers is… Roasting marshmallows!

MAX
What?! Seriously?

BLUE
Yup! Who needs to forage for a random twig or branch when you can just stick some big marshmallows on your rack and dangle your head over an open flame!

MAX
Blue, you’re ridiculous. That’s… fairly insane.

BLUE
But I can tell… you’re considering it.

MAX
Damn it. I am.

BLUE
Ha!

SFX: PHONE NOTIFICATION

MAX
Blue, can you stop recording for a sec?

BLUE
Oh, yeah. Hold on. Sorry, Max. What’s up?

MAX
Sorry, Sophia just sent me a text. She says: Max, this is supposed to be a Season 5 trailer! Why are you talking about antlers?

BLUE
Huh?

MAX
Then she goes on to say: “Season 5 of Second Fiddles starts next week! You heard that right, listeners! Next week!”

BLUE
Is that it?

MAX
Yeah. She’s so weird sometimes.

BLUE
She talks about “seasons” a lot.

MAX
Yeah. Hey, I just had a silly idea.

BLUE
Almost all my ideas are silly, soooo I can relate.

MAX
You know how you and the Second Fiddles took on the new baddie, Rose, a while back, when everyone escaped Red Thorn Ranch and I was finally able to reconnect with my forgotten sister, Pitch?

BLUE
Uhh, yeah, I was there.

MAX
Rose told us about those crazy-powerful Eternity Gems. You know, those six magical stones or whatever that she’s trying to find so she can become the most powerful being in the universe?

BLUE
Yeah. She’s like a tiny, female, non-purple Thanos with resting villain-face and the power to heal people.

MAX
Exactly.

BLUE
Nice way to weasel a recap into the convo, by the way.

MAX
Thanks, it’s a gift. Well, I was thinking— We don’t have many resources available to track down the other gems. I mean, other than the power gem that Rose already has, and the Reality gem, which is…

BLUE
Which is actually my sexy glowing butt!

MAX
Yeah, that. So, maybe we can leverage your social media following to track down the other Eternity Gems.

BLUE
Like, ask my fans if they’ve seen anything weird around Rose City that might be caused by one of the gems?

MAX
Yeah, I guess? It seems like we have an uphill battle ahead of us, competing with Rose to find these stupid gems. Do you think we could try that?

BLUE
Hey, it’s worth a shot! When we’re done shooting this video, we can strategize and come up with a content strategy for that, okay?

MAX
Yeah! Thanks.

BLUE
I’m gonna record again now, okay?

MAX
Sure.

BLUE
Hey, Buck, now that we’ve gone through the list, want to join me in the shower?

MAX
Excuse me?!

BLUE
My fans will pay way more for TWO butts! Double the cheeks, double the cash!

MAX
Absolutely not.

BLUE
Oh, because your antlers don’t fit in my shower?

MAX
You know that’s not why. Stop trying to get all of us naked on camera!

BLUE
Hey, you do you! I was gonna offer you 20, but nevermind!

MAX
Yeah, I’m not getting naked for only 20 dollars.

BLUE
What? No, I meant 20 THOUSAND.

MAX
Holy BLEEP! How much money do you make?

BLUE
Well, that’s it for today, Mooners! Next Superhero Saturday, we’ll be talking to Lucid Lucy. I’m really hoping she enters a waking nightmare and projectile vomits like the exorcist! Buck, do you think her head can completely turn around?

MAX
Uh, no, not without her neck snapping. She’s mean and spooky— not possessed.

BLUE
Try to be more positive! Don’t kill my vibe, man!

MAX
Whatever, I gotta go start looking for the Eternity Gems. Enjoy your… uhh, nudity?

BLUE
Thanks, Buck! And thank you, Mooners, for your support. Catch ya on the far side of the moon!