49 - Silver Lining

SOPHIA
Previously, on Second Fiddles: Everyone but Elijah has forgotten about Tammy, Max’s sister. Even your narrator, who prides herself on her superpowered memory, cannot recall the superhero known as Pitch. Wherever she is, whatever she’s doing, I hope she’s safe. Unless she was a jerk, in which case I hope she’s still safe, but mildly uncomfortable. Let’s begin.

MAT
Episode 49: Silver Lining.

TAMMY
Ugh, why does my head hurt so much?

SILVER
It’s probably from being drugged and kidnapped. You’ve been out cold for like 20 hours.

TAMMY
Sally Mander? Am I… dead?

SILVER
No, you’re alive! And before you try to scream my face off, don’t bother. This whole place is surrounded by a power dampening field. You can’t hurt me with your voice.

TAMMY
I don’t need my BLEEPing voice to beat your face in, you villainous BLEEP!

SILVER
Ooh, I stand corrected. Your mouth is pretty offensive even without your powers.

TAMMY
Don’t play games with me, Sally. What’s going on?

SILVER
I’m not Sally. And nothing’s “going on.” You’re safe here.

TAMMY
Yeah, okay. If you’re not Sally, who are you? A shapeshifter?

SILVER
I wish! No, I’m Silver. I’m your roommate!

TAMMY
My roommate?

SILVER
It’s nice to finally meet you! I mean, I met you when you got here, but you were unconscious, so that doesn’t really count.

TAMMY
Why… why do you look and sound like Sally?

SILVER
I’m her twin sister. I never got the chance to meet her before she fell to her death and exploded into a pile of bones and goo on a sidewalk, but I was told that’s probably for the best. I heard she was pretty mean.

TAMMY
That’s being generous. So, you’re the lost sister that Linus has been looking for?

SILVER
Aww, he’s looking for me? That’s so sweet! How do you know him?

TAMMY
He’s my… partner. Professionally and… romantically.

SILVER
Huh. What are the chances my new roomie ends up being the girlfriend of my long lost brother?!

TAMMY
You didn’t know that already? But you knew about my powers…

SILVER
All I was told when they dropped your body on the bed was that your name is Tammy, and you can make superpowered sonic screamies.

TAMMY
I feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on me.

SILVER
I think it’s kismet. I thought when my last roommate disappeared, it was bad luck, but now you’re here! There’s always a silver lining. That’s where my name comes from. I’m not exactly sure what my superpower is, but I’m pretty sure it’s good luck.

TAMMY
And, I thought you said there were power dampeners.

SILVER
I like to think that my luck transcends powers.

TAMMY
Are we in jail? Is this the Island?

SILVER
Oh, no, we’re free to come and go as we please, as long as we don’t leave the grounds. Most buildings are accessible, but it depends on your ascension level.

TAMMY
Are we in a compound?

SILVER
Not exactly. Welcome to Red Thorn Ranch!

TAMMY
Ranch? Oh god, I’m not in Texas, am I? I hate warm weather!

SILVER
No, silly, we’re right outside Rose City!

TAMMY
Okay, that’s better than nothing. What were you saying about… levels?

SILVER
We have access to more areas around here if we have higher ascension levels. You’re just a rosebud. That’s the lowest level. Above you are the stems, the petals—like me—and at the top are the blooms.

TAMMY
The people who run this place, do they have a name?

SILVER
Of course! We are the Order of the Rose. Do you like flowers? We have the most gorgeous gardens and greenhouses.

TAMMY
So… what you’re saying is that I’ve been abducted into a cult, right? Like, this is very clearly a full-blown cult situation.

SILVER
Oh, no, of course not! Cults are evil. We don’t have a hidden agenda. We’re just a group of superpowered people who work and live together to learn how to exist without reliance on our genetic mutations.

TAMMY
Have you ever seen a cult documentary? The people at the highest level of these things hold all the secrets, and the lackeys at lower levels, like you, are kept in the dark about the true master plans.

SILVER
No, everyone here is happy.

TAMMY
Uhh, I’m not. And how do you explain the whole “being drugged and kidnapped” thing? What sort of happy-go-lucky organization does that? What’s next, human trafficking?

SILVER
Everyone comes here in their own way, but after seeing the light, we all decide to stay. This is so much better than the pain and agony of the world outside these walls. We feel nothing but love and fulfillment! It’s so pure, like the coke I did in Turks and Caicos when I was living on a houseboat.

TAMMY
Umm, good for you, I guess. So, you feel… safe here?

SILVER
The safest.

TAMMY
So, you’re all brainwashed. Gotcha. Delightful. When do I meet the overly charismatic leader who tries to indoctrinate me?

SILVER
Oh, not for a long time. Rosebuds don’t have that privilege.

TAMMY
How long have you been here?

SILVER
Hmm, I lose track of time, but maybe… 3 months? About as long as I worked in New York City as a living statue. I look surprisingly good in patina.

TAMMY
Good to know. I was afraid you’d been here for years.

SILVER
I wish. I love it here! I get to spend my time singing and laughing and learning about flowers. I love watching things grow. Life is so beautiful, isn’t it?

TAMMY
Wow, you’re like the exact opposite of your sister.

SILVER
What was she like? I only know what I saw on the news, but I barely ever watch it. It’s so depressing.

TAMMY
Sally was kind of a monster. Linus says she was occasionally nice to him, but she was literally a psychopath. MacGuffin groomed her to be a supervillain, and she turned into the quintessential daddy’s girl. That is, if… daddy asks you to murder people. She was… awful. Except she had good hair. Like yours, but platinum instead of silver.

SILVER
I only dye mine this color to match my name. It’s normally brown.

TAMMY
Yeah, just like Linus and Sally. The dark eyebrows are a giveaway.

SILVER
How did you know I exist? I only started to piece it together when I saw Sally on tv. I grew up in foster care, so I always hoped I had siblings, but when I found out I was related to supervillains, it freaked me out. Not as scary as the time I woke up in a bathtub full of ice thinking I was missing a kidney, but almost as bad.

TAMMY
That sucks, I’m sorry. At Sally’s funeral service wake thing, MacGuffin monologued and told us what he saw in the future. Apparently, Sally’s love for you would’ve become her greatest weakness or whatever, so in order to make her the best villain possible, he got rid of you and had any memory of you wiped from existence.

SILVER
I always wondered why my parents gave me up…

TAMMY
Your mom was dealing with her own trauma, probably from being married to MacGuffin, but if she remembered you, I’m sure she would’ve done anything to find you.

SILVER
Is my mom still alive?

TAMMY
Yeah. I mean, kind of. She’s not in this world, per se, but she’s safe. It’s a long story.

SILVER
Does… this mean I could meet my family one day?

TAMMY
Well, that depends. Is this a suicide cult?

SILVER
We’re not a cult.

TAMMY
Let’s agree to disagree.

SILVER
I promise, once you’ve given it a chance, you’ll understand!

TAMMY
That’s not happening.

SILVER
Just wait, you’ll see.

TAMMY
I doubt it. Linus and my brother will be here to rescue me before we know it.

SILVER
Oh, they won’t be coming.

TAMMY
What’s that supposed to mean? Are they okay?

SILVER
I… don’t see why they wouldn’t be.

TAMMY
Then why won’t they rescue me? Is there a forcefield around the place? Forcefields are kind of Linus’s speciality.

SILVER
No, they won’t even be looking. You don’t exist outside of here.  At least, not anymore.

TAMMY
Oh BLEEP, did I get Retconned?

SILVER
I don’t know what that means.

TAMMY
Were their memories altered?

SILVER
Yes, and no. It’s more than that. Anyone who comes here ceases to exist in the outside world. Most of us are alone, without any families. No one’s missing us or looking for us anyway, but our leader is able to shift reality to make it… easier. I don’t know why you were chosen, though, because you have a lot of connections out there. You’re not like the rest of us.

TAMMY
Great, I feel so blessed.

SILVER
You should! Maybe my luck is spreading.

TAMMY
You may not be a psycho like your sister, but you’re pretty delusional. Superpowered luck isn’t a real thing.

SILVER
Well then explain this: A couple of years ago, I was riding in a cab when all those bombs went off downtown. Shrapnel from the explosion hit us, and the cab was nearly ripped in half. The driver survived, and I was thrown into the street. Not only did I make it out without even a bruise, but when I was blasted out of the car and landed on the sidewalk, there was a crisp, new 20 dollar bill just sitting there. See? Lucky!

TAMMY
First of all, your dad is the one who set off those bombs, and that doesn’t sound like good luck, that actually sounds like really bad luck. If you were actually lucky, you wouldn’t have been anywhere near the explosion in the first place.

SILVER
BUT, I wouldn’t have gotten that 20 dollars! I mean, I used it to tip the cabbie anyway, because he deserved it, but still, that’s not the point.

TAMMY
That was a BLEEP example.

SILVER
Every time I went to the bar and my friends got roofied, it never happened to me. Not once. The silver lining was that I was always able to get them home safely. That can’t be a coincidence!

TAMMY
Oh my god, Silver! I hope you didn’t keep going back to the same bar!

SILVER
And I was the only kid who survived my first school bus accident! That’s really good luck!

TAMMY
Your FIRST school bus accident? How many have there been?!

SILVER
That’s not the point, silly.

TAMMY
To me, it seems like your power is extremely BAD luck. Has anything like that happened to you here with the power dampeners?

SILVER
No, but I was super lucky to find my way here!

TAMMY
I wouldn’t call being abducted into a cult a positive experience. 

SILVER
Oh, I wasn’t abducted, I joined on purpose!

TAMMY
You’ve gotta be BLEEPing me.

SILVER
I was shopping at the farmer’s market, and there were a few people selling roses from Red Thorn Ranch. I started talking to them, and they asked if I’d like to visit, and that was the beginning of this fairy tale journey.

TAMMY
Maybe a Grimm’s fairy tale…

SILVER
I’d just been laid off from my job and served an eviction notice from my landlord, so even with all that bad stuff happening, I was lucky enough to encounter these sweet souls and their pretty flowers. It was meant to be.

TAMMY
Ugh, well, I’m happy for you, I guess.

SILVER
Thanks, roomie.

TAMMY
Uh, you’re welcome. So, if everyone I know has forgotten that I exist, and I’m assuming I can’t just leave on my own, what do I do next?

SILVER
Want some food? It’s taco day.

TAMMY
I haven’t had any Mexican food since I had a bad burrito a while back. I kept throwing up and everyone thought I was pregnant, but luckily it was really just food poisoning.

SILVER
(giggles)

TAMMY
What’s so funny?

SILVER
You just said getting food poisoning was good luck. After making fun of my luck powers. It’s pretty ironic.

TAMMY
Damn it. Anyway, classifying a gas station burrito as Mexican food is an insult to all Mexican cuisine, but I can’t help what I like. Are the tacos here good?

SILVER
All the food here is amazing.

TAMMY
Well, I am starving. I also really have to pee. Do we have our own bathroom?

SILVER
There’s one down the hall.

TAMMY
Great. A communal bathroom. I’m living the dream.

SILVER
Each stall is super big, handicap accessible, fully enclosed, and has heated seats. There are bidets too!

TAMMY
Seriously?

SILVER
Yup! We have a chef and a pastry chef, too.

TAMMY
Damn. Wait, is this the kind of cult where the food is drugged with mind altering chemicals? I’m hungry, but not hungry enough to get brainwashed.

SILVER
I promise, the food is safe. I work in the kitchens on the weekends. It’s not drugged.

TAMMY
That’s exactly what a brainwashed cult member would say.

SILVER
(laughs) You’re funny.

TAMMY
I’m glad I amuse you.

SILVER
If you don’t want tacos, in case your tummy might disagree, we also have vegan, kosher, halal, and gluten-free options.

TAMMY
What was that you said about a pastry chef?

SILVER
I think tonight the desserts are fresh eclairs and… raspberry sorbetto.

TAMMY
Ew, that reminds me of a henchie named Sore Beto.

SILVER
Was he a bad guy?

TAMMY
Yeah, his name was Beto, and he was covered in contagious sores. Sore. Beto. Get it?

SILVER
Yuck!

TAMMY
Yeah. Eclairs sound good, though!

SILVER
How about this: I’ll show you where the bathroom is, and then I’ll give you a tour of the ranch. At least, the places you have access to. There’s no formal orientation process, at least not for you—so you can just follow me and I’ll show you the ropes. Not literal ropes. Unless you want to go try out our climbing wall or ropes course.

TAMMY
It’s hard to trust you because you have the face and voice of a murderous supervillain, but I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt because you’re my boyfriend’s sister.

SILVER
Technically, he’s not your boyfriend anymore. He doesn’t remember you, so he might move on without you.

TAMMY
Why would you say that?!

SILVER
I’m just being honest.

TAMMY
If he cheats on me, I swear to god I’m gonna kill him.

SILVER
Hey, it’s not his fault. He wouldn’t know he’s cheating.

TAMMY
Fine. Then I’ll just kill whoever brought me here.

SILVER
Maybe you DO belong on the island.

TAMMY
Hey, you said this place is great because it helps powered people learn to live without their powers, right? What does that mean?

SILVER
It means exactly what it sounds like.

TAMMY
Is everyone here like you and me? People with dangerous abilities?

SILVER
I don’t know what you mean. My power’s safe!

TAMMY
Yeah, maybe for you. Is this like a forced rehab for offensive powers? That would almost make sense. Get us off the streets and keep us locked away… But why? Why are we being kept alive?

SILVER
We would never kill anyone. That’s terrible!

TAMMY
Didn’t you just say your last roommate disappeared?

SILVER
Yeah, but she probably just ascended to a higher level. Once you reach Bloom status, it opens you up to a world of new possibilities!

TAMMY
Like what?

SILVER
I don’t know, it’s just rhetoric. But it sure is better than thinking they’re being sacrificed or something!

TAMMY
BLEEP my life.

SILVER
I’ll keep you safe. I promise.

TAMMY
If I’m going to get out of this alive, I’m gonna need a lot of luck.

SILVER
Good thing you’re with me.

TAMMY
Hey, if your luck brings death and destruction with it, maybe you’re right.

SILVER
So… Ready to head out?

TAMMY
Yeah, I might as well get the lay of the land. And… try out those heated toilet seats.

SILVER
They will change your life.

TAMMY
Okay.

SILVER
And later, after curfew, do you think you could tell me more about my family?

TAMMY
Sure, why not?

SILVER
Thank you! I’m so excited!

TAMMY
No problem. Ready to go?

SILVER
Yup!

TAMMY
Lead the way! I can’t believe I’m in a motherBLEEPing cult.

MAT
In this episode of Second Fiddles, Tammy is voiced by Liz Thompson, Silver is voiced by Jenny Gibson, and Sophia is voiced by Robyn Rime. Music by Pete Johnson, and writing, producing, and sound design by Mat Johnson.

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