SOUND: BEGIN INTRO MUSIC

MACGUFFIN
Previously, on Second Fiddles: Sophia’s been trying to find her sister Frankie, an elusive sidekick with the power to alter memories. We first met her when she auditioned to be Tammy’s sidekick last season, and it’s gotten more and more confusing since then. Her story’s been retconned so many times, even I’m having trouble following along. At least Frankie’s alias, Retcon, makes sense. Unless I’m remembering this wrong. Ugh. Let’s begin!

MAT
Episode 36, Frankie.

TAMMY
Hey, you’re earlier than I expected. Were you early last time we met here?

RETCON
I always come early in case I need to reset and try again.

TAMMY
That makes sense. Now be warned, Retcon, I have hidden cameras live streaming to a site far away from here, so don’t try anything.

RETCON
Clever. I don’t know what game you’re playing, Pitch, but you shouldn’t even know that I exist.

TAMMY
Honestly, for a while, I didn’t, but then I found a recording on my phone from when you auditioned for me, and it all snapped into place.

RETCON
Ah. I caught the camera last time, but I never thought to check your phone. You know, I’m one of the good guys, right? I’m a sidekick, not a henchwoman, so I don’t know why you’re treating this like an attack.

TAMMY
I don’t want you messing with my memories again.

RETCON
I can make you forget I ever messed with them in the first place, if you want. It would simplify the situation.

TAMMY
You’re pretty dense. There is a live feed. Monitored elsewhere. By someone else. That you can’t get to.

RETCON
Okay, fine, I’ll play along for now. How exactly did you manage to track me down?

TAMMY
We reached out to Fourth Wall, and his clairvoyance was useful enough to get us your cell number.

RETCON
“We?” I take it your partner “Force” is the one listening in on us? Where should I wave? Can he see this?

TAMMY
Oh, wow, flipping off the cameras. So original. And mature.

RETCON
You’re treating me like a child, so I’m gonna act like one.

TAMMY
Fine. Sit down in this chair, and we can have an adult conversation.

RETCON
And if I don’t?

TAMMY
I’ll throw a tantrum that may or may not involve using my voice to break all the bones in your legs.

RETCON
My feet are tired, so I’ll sit, but not for you.

TAMMY
Uh huh. Yeah.

RETCON
Okay. I’m sitting. So, what is this about?

SFX: METAL COLLAR SNAPPING AROUND RETCON’S NECK, BEEPING

RETCON
(gasp) What the BLEEP is this? Get this off me!

TAMMY
I’m sorry if your new collar isn’t very comfortable. You just need to answer our questions and you’ll be free to go!

RETCON
What is this, and how did you get it around my neck?

ID
It’s surprisingly easy to sneak up behind someone when they can’t see you.

RETCON
Is this Invisidude? You little BLEEP. I’ve heard you were working for Fourth Wall. I should’ve known better.

ID
Wow, you’re making it real easy to not feel bad for you.

RETCON
Why would you feel bad for me?

ID
That device I attached around your neck is a power dampener, so you won’t be able to use your powers until one of us disables it. Or you can try to break it open, but there’s a 95 percent chance forcing it open may decapitate you.

RETCON
A power dampener? What, you don’t trust me?

TAMMY
Absolutely not.

RETCON
So you’re recording this, and you’re going to, what, torture me? Are you making a snuff film?

TAMMY
Hey, you know, I caught a henchie a couple years ago trying to record a snuff film. He was huge, like a big brown fuzzy elephant. He was all like, “I’m gonna put the snuff in Snuffleupagus!” No, wait, that can’t be right.

RETCON
What’s your point?

TAMMY
Sorry. No, no snuff film. We’re actually not even recording, that was a lie. We don’t want any proof of this.

RETCON
This isn’t very heroic behavior. Did Pitch talk you into helping her, Invisi-guy? If you help kill me, there’s no coming back from that.

ID
Meh, ever since I was tortured by aliens who cut off all my fingers, I don’t have much sympathy for nasty people in distress. Sorry-not-sorry.

RETCON
How did you snap the power dampener around my neck without fingers?

ID
Ew, don’t be ableist. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. They grew back. I don’t need to tell you any of this. Pitch, I’m going out. Want me to send in our reinforcements?

TAMMY
10-4, ID. Thanks.

RETCON
Wow, he doesn’t make any noise when he walks, does he?

TAMMY
I think he wears slippers, and he’s had a lot of practice.

RETCON
So, what, is Invisi-douche going to get your other half? Am I about to be interrogated by “Pitchforce?”

TAMMY
Let’s just say that your past is about to catch up with you.

RETCON
This is about revenge? You’re so mad that I changed your memories that you’re going to, what? Threaten me until I take them back? Well, sorry, it doesn’t work that way.

TAMMY
Oh, this has absolutely nothing to do with me.

RETCON
What are you talking about?

TAMMY
I’m just the middleman. Middle… woman.

RETCON
If not you, who am I here to… Oh, no… you didn’t!

SOPHIA
Hello, sister! I’m tempted to use a phrase like “long time, no see” but that expression may be mocking non-native English speakers.

RETCON
Dotty, I don’t want to talk to you.

TAMMY
Dotty? I’m not calling you that.

SOPHIA
It must be short for Dorothy, my given name. I still prefer Sophia. Thank you for your assistance, Pitch, but I can take it from here.

TAMMY
Are you sure you don’t want me to scream her toes to jelly?

SOPHIA
Please, do not maim my sister.

TAMMY
Fine. Yell if you need us.

SOPHIA
Thank you. Please close the door behind you.

TAMMY
No problem.

SOPHIA
So, Frankie, I would use an expression like “it’s been a while,” but I don’t actually know how long it’s been, due to my retrograde amnesia. That you caused.

RETCON
(sigh) How did you find out?

SOPHIA
I visited our mother in California, where our father believes you’re working at an ad agency. She told me everything.

RETCON
Speaking with that woman just makes things worse.

SOPHIA
Maybe for you. Having a mother who is immune to your powers must be very trying for you.

RETCON
Don’t be so smug, little sis, it’s not a good look.

SOPHIA
Neither is being tricked into meeting with your amnesiac sister while you’re wearing a power dampener.

RETCON
Yeah, thanks for that.

SOPHIA
You are welcome.

RETCON
So, what are you looking to get out of this?

SOPHIA
I want to know you. I need to understand what happened between us, and how we can move past it.

RETCON
Move past it? Are you serious?

SOPHIA
Of course I am.

RETCON
You want us to forgive each other and then, what, go back to being sisters and braid each other’s hair?

SOPHIA
According to what our mother said, we never had a sweet, hair-braiding relationship.

RETCON
Well, that’s just not true. She’s only remembering the bad. There was so much other stuff mixed in with everything else, it’s getting lost in the shuffle. Believe me, I deal with memories for a living. You’re more likely to remember the bad over the good.

SOPHIA
Not me, Frankie. I remember the good and the bad equally.

RETCON
Of course you do. You’re very objective and straightforward now.

SOPHIA
It’s hard to be anything else when this is all I’ve ever known.

RETCON
You weren’t like this before.

SOPHIA
Well, I am this now, and I like who I am.

RETCON
You aren’t the Dotty I remember.

SOPHIA
Maybe you accidentally manipulated your own memories, then. Or maybe you should forget about Dotty and get to know Sophia.

RETCON
I could never forget about Dotty. She- you- were… You were my only true friend. That’s why– that’s why I cut myself out of your life. You don’t deserve a sister like me.

SOPHIA
I wish you had given me the opportunity to make that decision for myself.

RETCON
Well, wishes are just that: Wishes.

SOPHIA
A wish is simply expressing one of your desires. This specific desire is to know my sister. You are my sister. It would seem that you could grant my wish with ease, if you were willing.

RETCON
I’m not a good sister. I’ll bring you nothing but pain.

SOPHIA
You treating me like this is causing me nothing but pain.

RETCON
Do you have any idea what I did to you? What I took from you?

SOPHIA
I do. I know it all. I know that you used to change my memories a little bit at a time, but I would always figure it out because of my power. I know that you changed Smasher so much that it led to our parents splitting up. I know that you made me forget how to drive while I was driving, and caused an accident.

RETCON
Calm down, your skin is starting to turn silver. And hey, I was the only one hurt in that accident, so you shouldn’t–

SOPHIA
I know that the accident made me transform into Basher for the first time, and rather than helping me, you ERASED MY MEMORY!

RETCON
Oh god, calm down, Dotty. Focus!

SOPHIA
I needed your help, and you took away EVERYTHING that made me me. You took away my family, you took away my joy. You killed Dorothy that day. You killed her! WHAT KIND OF SISTER DOES THAT?

RETCON
Hey, Pitch! Invisi-boy! Someone help me!

SOPHIA
They can help scrape your body off the floor!

RETCON
(screams)

SFX: TRANSITION STINGER

TAMMY
How do you think Sophia and her sister are doing?

ID
I don’t know, hopefully they’re talking things out. I still think it was a bad idea to leave them alone and go get coffee. We promised Sophia we’d be right outside if she needed anything.

TAMMY
Eh, Sophia’s the smartest person we know, and Retcon has a power dampener on, so what’s to worry about?

ID
I don’t know. I kind of wish I was in there. I could probably sneak in without anyone noticing the door opening, if I’m careful.

TAMMY
But why? It’s not really your business.

ID
I mean, she asked for our help, that kind of makes it our business, right? I could listen in!

TAMMY
Do you hear yourself right now?

ID
Yeah. Like I said, I could just sneak right in to hear what they’re talking about.

TAMMY
Elijah, this is why Max is mad at you. Don’t you get that?

ID
What? No, he’s mad because I looked in on him at work and didn’t tell him about it.

TAMMY
You are dense as BLEEP

ID
Wait, that’s NOT why he broke up with me?

TAMMY
Okay, listen to me carefully. Ready?

ID
Fine.

TAMMY
Invisi-dork. Elijah. Just because you’re invisible and can get away with eavesdropping all the time, it doesn’t mean you should.

ID
But, it doesn't hurt anyone…

TAMMY
It obviously does! You hurt Max!

ID
But, that’s who I am. I’m in the background, always listening and observing, but never really a part of the plot.

TAMMY
When the plot is your relationship, you have to be an active participant! If it takes wearing bells for Max to trust you again, then go to Pet Universe and buy a kitten collar to wear as a bracelet or something. It’s really not that hard.

ID
You’re asking me to change who I am.

TAMMY
It’s not who you are, it’s what you do.

ID
Is there a difference?

TAMMY
Good people can still do crappy things. Look at me!

ID
How so?

TAMMY
Do I make a ton of mistakes and do some horrible things?

ID
Yeah, all the time.

TAMMY
Would you say I’m a bad person?

ID
Well, no, but I’m not breaking windows and eardrums.

TAMMY
If you don’t fix this, you’ll be breaking Max’s heart. That’s worse than a window.

ID
Tammy, I don’t know what to say.

TAMMY
Do you love my brother?

ID
Of course.

TAMMY
Then fight for him, you idiot.

ID
I don’t know how!

TAMMY
Oh my god. Just talk to him! Apologize, beg forgiveness, and MEAN IT.

ID
Geez, I thought you were my friend.

TAMMY
You know we’re still friends, but being a good sister trumps being a good friend every time, sorry.

ID
You should tell that to Frankie. From the sound of it, she doesn’t care about being a good sister to Sophia.

TAMMY
Don’t you mean Dotty?

ID
(laugh) Hey, I’ll call her whatever she wants to be called.

TAMMY
I wonder how things are going back there?

SFX: TRANSITION STINGER

RETCON
Pitch! Come on! Where are you?! Oh my gosh, the door’s locked from the outside, Dotty’s gone full Basher, and she’s already tried smashing me with chairs. At least turn off the power dampener!

SOPHIA
WHY YOU WANT YOUR POWER? TO RUIN MY HEAD… AGAIN?!

RETCON
No! Please, calm down. It’s me, it’s Frankie. Try to remember who I am. I’m your sister, Dotty!

SOPHIA
I NOT DOTTY, DOTTY IS DEAD!

RETCON
Listen to me. You don’t want to hurt me. You’ve never hurt me. Even with all the terrible stuff I put you through when we were teenagers, even with all the lies and deceit, you always saw through it. You always treated me with compassion, even when I didn’t deserve it.

SOPHIA
ALL YOU DESERVE IS PAIN!

RETCON
Fine. You want to hurt me? Hurt me. It won’t hurt any more than when Mom and Dad chose you over me. And you were their favorite, their little perfect angel. You could do no wrong. That’s why I told them I made you forget how to drive.

SOPHIA
LIAR!

RETCON
I told Mom that I caused the accident, because I didn’t want them to know that their darling little Dorothy did something wrong.

SOPHIA
LIAR! YOU’RE LYING!

RETCON
I wish I was! In the car that day, I told you I wanted to leave. I wanted to pack up and move and start over, away from all of you. You got so upset you took your eyes off the road. You almost hit some lady walking her dog, and I grabbed the wheel and jerked us out of the way, but I over-corrected and we hit a tree. That’s when you transformed into Basher and ripped the roof of the car off.

SOPHIA
I ALMOST HURT LADY AND DOGGY?

RETCON
Yeah, if I hadn’t intervened, you might’ve killed them.

SOPHIA
BUT I LOVE FUZZY ANIMAL FRIENDS! AND PEOPLE TOO…

RETCON
You’re starting to shrink a little. Does that mean you’re not going to try to bash my brains in any more? Dotty?

SOPHIA
NOT DOTTY!

RETCON
Sophia. Sophia, please, look into my eyes.

SOPHIA
Frankie– Tell me what happened. I need to know what happened.

RETCON
You mean how you lost your memory?

SOPHIA
Yes.

RETCON
When you were like you just were, transformed and not listening to reason, ripping the car apart, I could tell that the reason you were angry wasn’t that you were in an accident, it was that you’d been the one who caused it. I tried to change your memory so that you thought I was driving instead, so you wouldn’t feel bad anymore. Your guilt is what turned you into Basher, not the shock, so I tried to take away your sense of responsibility.

SOPHIA
And what happened?

RETCON
I think, because you were Basher and not your normal form, it altered how my powers affected you, and rather than change the last few minutes, I accidentally erased everything from before that moment.

SOPHIA
So you didn’t wipe my memory on purpose?

RETCON
Oh god, no, that’s the last thing I wanted. I was just trying to calm you down and make you feel better.

SOPHIA
And you wanted me to think that you caused the accident?

RETCON
Our parents already hated me to begin with, they didn’t need to resent you, too. I figured it would be easier that way.

SOPHIA
I don’t think that’s how life is supposed to work.

RETCON
Well, I know that now. The mistakes we make are what shape our future selves. Change too many things from our past, and it changes who we are, even parts of our personalities.

SOPHIA
Like me.

RETCON
Like you.

SOPHIA
Who— Who did I used to be?

RETCON
You were always way too trusting, like Dad. You know, when Dad caught Mom having an affair, she convinced him it was a lie, and that I’d implanted those memories in his head. She blamed so many things on my power, and he had to just take her word for it, because there was no way he could trust his memory.

SOPHIA
I’m going to have a serious conversation with our mother about this at a later time.

RETCON
Good luck with that, she’s… something. Since Mom’s immune to my powers, Dad assumed she was always telling the truth. I became her scapegoat for everything, and I just stopped fighting it after a while, because even if no one else trusted me, you always had my back. You were the one person I always had on my side. After I messed up and wiped your memory, I realized I’d lost the only person left who understood me, so that’s when I made Dad think it really was your Basher transformation that caused the accident, and I influenced his memory so he’d put that neural inhibitor in your head. Then, I told him I was moving away for a job, and that’s it. That’s everything.

SOPHIA
Why would you have him take away my power?

RETCON
I didn’t want him thinking that I was the one who wiped your memories, so I figured if he thought he did it while putting in the inhibitor, he would feel guilty and take extra special care of you in the future.

SOPHIA
That does not make much sense.

RETCON
I know. I was panicking, and in shock, and I kept piling on mistake after mistake. If I could make it right, I would, but I can’t go back in time.

SOPHIA
If… If I was able to have my memories restored, would they negate who I am today? Would they change who I am?

RETCON
We can’t know that for certain. You would probably be a combination. You’d be Sophia, and your experiences as her wouldn’t have changed, but you’d have your entire previous life as Dorothy filling in the gaps.

SOPHIA
That sounds complicated.

RETCON
Especially because you’d remember every single detail from the minute your power first kicked in.

SOPHIA
Would you be there for me, to help me, if it’s too much?

RETCON
Of course, but there’d be no way to restore your memories. I think I’d be able to put some of my memories in your head, I think, from parts of our lives that we experienced together, but I wouldn’t be able to construct them from your perspective. I write sentences, not novels.

SOPHIA
I have a theory regarding that, actually.

RETCON
Really? What is it?

SOPHIA
First, please come closer.

RETCON
Okay… What are you–

SFX: BEEPING, RELEASING POWER DAMPENER

SOPHIA
There. Much better.

RETCON
Why would you take off the power dampener?

SOPHIA
Would you prefer I put it back on?

RETCON
No! I just… I’m surprised. How can you trust that I won’t use my power on you?

SOPHIA
I am, in fact, hoping that you will use your power on me.

RETCON
There’s no way I’m doing that. After what happened the last time–

SOPHIA
Last time, I was in my Basher form.
This time, I will be helping you.

RETCON
Helping me? How so?

SOPHIA
I believe that my power, if combined with yours, may be able to fully restore my memory.

RETCON
And how did you come to that conclusion?

SOPHIA
Our powers have a genetic component. There is no way it is a coincidence that we both have memory-related abilities. In tandem, we may be able to reverse what you did to me.

RETCON
But your power’s passive, and mine’s active. You have no control over yours.

SOPHIA
I believe that may not be quite true. You see, I cannot remember my dreams. When I wake up, I remember flashes of them, and I can perfectly pull up those flashes now, but my power only works when I’m aware.

RETCON
What are you saying?

SOPHIA
If my power was passive, it would work all the time. In my dreams, I’ve seen things from the past, things that don’t match with anything I remember. This means my memories must be in there somewhere, buried where I can’t find them.

RETCON
After I wiped your memory, I tried to go back in, once, but you weren’t conscious. It was like there was a wall up. No, not a wall, more like a mountain. It felt insurmountable.

SOPHIA
Frankie, take my hands.

RETCON
I don’t know.

SOPHIA
Please.

RETCON
Okay…

SOPHIA
You’re shaking.

RETCON
I’m scared. I ruined your life. I ruined MY life.

SOPHIA
I have a job as a hero that fulfills me, I help others, and I have an amazing group of friends. Does that sound like a horrible life to you?

RETCON
No, but I stole so much from you.

SOPHIA
Then help me get it back.

RETCON
Okay. Let’s do this.

SOPHIA
Tap into my memories. Don’t try to change anything yet, just observe. Are you able to access them?

RETCON
Yeah. Wow, I almost forgot what it was like in here. Most people have a stream, or a river. You have an ocean of memories.

SOPHIA
Keep traveling through that ocean. Go back to where the memories start. Can you feel it?

RETCON
It’s like a waterfall, but flowing up into the sky. It’s forming clouds, and they’re all swirling together, like a tropical storm. Beyond that… there’s nothing.

SOPHIA
We’re really murdering this water analogy, aren’t we?

RETCON
Oh, yeah, we’re drowning in it.

SOPHIA
I have heard others describe the sensation of having something on the tip of their tongue, but not quite being able to access a memory. I believe that is what I am experiencing now. I know there’s something there, but I just can’t remember.

RETCON
Think of Mom. Think of Dad. That might help.

SOPHIA
I’m trying.

RETCON
Something’s forming… Think of me. Think of my face, my voice.

SOPHIA
I can… I can hear you laughing!

RETCON
I got it! I can feel them! It’s like there was a dam, but it sprung a leak.

SOPHIA
I remember the accident. I remember turning into Basher and… and the look on your face, right before…

RETCON
I can see it too…

SOPHIA
Frankie…

RETCON
Oh no, I think the dam’s about to burst. I can’t control it!

SOPHIA
Let it go, Frankie. Let it– (gasp)

RETCON
No! Not again! Hold on!

SFX: TRANSITION STINGER

TAMMY
Sorry we were gone for a few minutes, I needed my caffeine fix. Is everything okay?

ID
Oh my god, what happened in here?

SOPHIA
I transformed and tried to kill my sister.

ID
I told you we should’ve stayed!

TAMMY
Hey, ID, stay back, Retcon took off her power dampener!

SOPHIA
Oh, don’t blame her, I’m the one who took it off.

TAMMY
Does this mean… things are cool?

RETCON
I’m not going to mess with your head, if that’s what you’re asking.

TAMMY
Oh. That’s… nice of you.

RETCON
Actually, I owe you an apology. And I should thank you and Invisidude.

TAMMY
Really?

ID
For what?

RETCON
If you hadn’t tricked me here and forced me to deal with my BLEEP, we wouldn’t have been able to fix my sister’s memory.

TAMMY
Fixed? Like, no-more-amnesia fixed?

ID
How is that even possible?

SOPHIA
It was dicey at the end, and my head feels like it’s about to explode with everything swirling around inside, but yes, I think I’m back to normal.

RETCON
Well, I would never call you normal, sis, but you’re back to the original factory settings, I’d say.

TAMMY
Factory settings?

SOPHIA
I am, in fact, a robot, Tammy. My internal databases had been corrupted, but Frankie was able to fix the code.

TAMMY
I knew it! Everything makes sense now!

ID
Uhh, Tammy?

TAMMY
What?

SOPHIA
(laughs)

RETCON
(laughs) Good one, sis!

SOPHIA
You should’ve seen the look on your face, Tammy. You were so proud of yourself. You are so gullible!

TAMMY
Oh. Yeah. No, I was just, uhh, playing along.

RETCON
For a while, when we were like 15, I would make people believe she was actually a robot.

SOPHIA
Yes, I would say things like “bleep blop bloop” and Frankie would laugh so hard she would cry.

ID
So, does this mean you’re going by Dotty again?

SOPHIA
My past is my past, and I really like my present, so I’m going to be Sophia for a bit longer, if you’ll have me.

TAMMY
Oh, thank god, I hate the name Dotty.

SOPHIA
Coming from someone named Tammy?

TAMMY
Hey, it’s short for Tamsin!

SOPHIA
Like that’s better?

TAMMY
Okay, I’m not loving this new Sophia.

SOPHIA
Get used to it.

RETCON
I could make you forget, if you want.

TAMMY/SOPHIA/ID
NO!

RETCON
Geez, just kidding! Loosen up!

SOPHIA
That’s what he said!

RETCON
(laughs)

SOPHIA
(laughs) I missed you, Frankie.

RETCON
I missed you, too… Sophia.

SOUND: THEME MUSIC

MAT
In this episode of Second Fiddles, SOPHIA is voiced by Robyn Rime, Retcon is voiced by Mia Canale, TAMMY is voiced by Liz Thompson, ID is voiced by Nick B, and MACGUFFIN is voiced by John Pupo. Feel free to follow us on instagram and facebook at SecondFiddlesPodcast, tumblr at Second Fiddles, and twitter at 2ndFiddles, spelled 2-N-D-Fiddles. Transcripts of all of our episodes can be found at our website, secondfiddlespodcast.com. Thanks for listening!