SEASON 3 TRAILER

SFX: CELL PHONE RING

MAX
Uhh! Why does someone always try to call me right when I have to poop? Hello? This is Max.

MACGUFFIN
Prepare for the end!

MAX
The end of what?

MACGUFFIN
The end of your pitiful lives!

MAX
Okay, I’m not doing this today.

MACGUFFIN
But we must! This is a trailer for the upcoming season!

MAX
(sigh) Fine, let’s just get this over with. What season?

MACGUFFIN
It’s season 3, Bucky boy, so we’re raising the stakes!

MAX
Ewww! Really? I’m a vegetarian.

MACGUFFIN
What the BLEEP are you talking about?

MAX
Umm… I don’t eat meat. For being a criminal mastermind, you’re super dumb.


MACGUFFIN
I know what a vegetarian is!

MAX
Coulda fooled me.

MACGUFFIN
But… I said we’re “raising the stakes,” not eating steaks!

MAX
I don’t care if you braise them or grill them, I’m not eating steak!

MACGUFFIN
Raising, not braising!

MAX
Okay, you like meat, I get it. Can I hang up now?
I have to go… do… something.

MACGUFFIN
You mean poop, don’t you?

MAX
No, I— Why would I– Yes.

MACGUFFIN
Fine, you antlered sidekick thorn in my side! Just go! But as you’re defecating, I want you to know that the Threat coming to Rose City will push you and your pathetic Second Fiddles to the breaking point, and nothing will ever be the same again! Ahahaha!

MAX
Ya good? Got that outta your system? Now I gotta go get something out of my system. I mean, poop. Bye.

What a douchebag. Oh, god. Tammy! Linus! We’re out of toilet paper! Son of a BLEEP. Season 3? What does that even mean? Ugh.