Second Fiddles

Episode 43 – Moving

February 08, 2024 Second Fiddles Season 3 Episode 14
Episode 43 – Moving
Second Fiddles
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Second Fiddles
Episode 43 – Moving
Feb 08, 2024 Season 3 Episode 14
Second Fiddles

Tammy and Linus are moving out. Max meets his new roommate.


—Thanks for listening!—
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IG: @secondfiddlespodcast
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Show Notes Transcript

Tammy and Linus are moving out. Max meets his new roommate.


—Thanks for listening!—
Follow us on social media:
X: @2ndfiddles
IG: @secondfiddlespodcast
FB: SecondFiddlesPodcast

43 - Moving

MACGUFFIN
Previously, on Second Fiddles: Things didn’t quite go my way, and I was taken into custody. I’m back at the Island, my old stomping grounds. Don’t worry, I’ll be out of here soon enough. These walls can never hold me.

Why look, I have visitors! How are– What are you doing here?

SOPHIA
Hello, MacGuffin. We’ve never been formally introduced. You may call me Recall. And this… is Retcon.

RETCON
Hey, dirtbag!

MACGUFFIN
What do you want from me?

SOPHIA
We don’t want anything from you. You’ve done so much to hurt my friends, I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you.

MACGUFFIN
You don’t look like you could throw me very far.

SOPHIA
OH REALLY? HOW ABOUT NOW, BLEEP?!

MACGUFFIN
Nope! Nevermind, I believe you!

RETCON
Yeah, you shouldn’t doubt her. It might make her angry.

SOPHIA
I apologize, that was rude of me.

MACGUFFIN
Does my son know you’re here?

SOPHIA
Oh, yes, Linus gave us his blessing.

MACGUFFIN
His blessing? For what?

RETCON
I thought you could see the future.

MACGUFFIN
Not everything. So, how’s this gonna go? You want revenge? You wanna kill me?

SOPHIA
I would never intentionally harm another living creature. Unless they really deserved it.

RETCON
Do you think he deserves it?

SOPHIA
I think he deserves… something worse.

MACGUFFIN
What are you gonna do to me?

RETCON
I might not be able to transform into a giant silver pile of angry muscle like my sister, here, but I can smash your brain.

SOPHIA
I’ve had amnesia before. It’s not pleasant.

RETCON
Sorry again about that.

SOPHIA
You need to stop apologizing. I’ve already forgiven you 14 times this week.

RETCON
Fine, fine.

MACGUFFIN
You’re going to erase my memory? What’s to prevent my powers from replacing them? I’m a clairvoyant, I can see everything!

RETCON
About that… I can make you think your power is the devil trying to speak to you. I can make you remember hating it, and it driving you insane.

MACGUFFIN
Do your worst. I’m confident in my abilities.

SOPHIA
I think you should take it a step further, Retcon. I think you should take away everything. Not just the memories.

MACGUFFIN
What else is there?

SOPHIA
I think she should take away your ability to understand language. Everything since birth.

RETCON
Even the bathroom stuff?

SOPHIA
Yes, I believe having to be potty trained again would be the icing on the cake. Don’t you think so, MacGuffin? You’ll have to relearn how to speak, how to read, how to count, how to walk. All of it.

MACGUFFIN
I don’t believe you. You’re heroes. I know you, Recall. Sophia. I know you would never do anything this savage.

SOPHIA
You’re correct, to an extent. The old Sophia, or at least, the amnesiac Sophia, would never have considered this, but… now that my memories are back, thanks to my sister Frankie here, I’m not quite the same person I was before.

MACGUFFIN
My son would have never approved of this torture!

SOPHIA
Oh, it was his idea. With Sally’s passing, the only thing standing in the way of his happiness is you.

MACGUFFIN
Guards? Guards! Remove my visitors at once!

RETCON
Oh, I made all the guards think this was their lunch hour. It’s just the three of us.

MACGUFFIN
Get away from me!

RETCON
You talk too much.

SOPHIA
I concur. Let’s shut him up.

MACGUFFIN
But… we’re in a podcast! I do the recaps! You can’t replace me!

RETCON
Hey, who better to recap than someone who remembers everything? Sophia, you up for it?

SOPHIA
Oh, yes, I love to break the fourth wall!

RETCON
Okay, MacGuffin, get ready in 3…2…

MACGUFFIN
You can’t do this! You can’t! No!

RETCON
Well, that was fun. While I dig around in there and make sure everything’s stripped away, do you wanna try your hand at that recapping thing?

SOPHIA
Oh, yes, thank you! Theme music, please.

Delightful. Previously, on Second Fiddles: The Threat came to Earth, but thanks to Max’s ability to read alien thoughts, my keen strategizing, and the other team contributions I don’t wish to list, we were able to put the Threat on ice. Also, because these facts will be relevant in this episode: Max quit his job working with Phaser, Tammy decided to move in with Linus, Eloise laid some eggs, and Elijah was blasted with alien technology that seemed to remove his invisibility. I hope they’re all okay. Let’s begin.

MAT
Episode 43: Moving

SOPHIA
Hey, it’s the creator. Hello, sir!

MAT
Uh, hi, Sophia. Were you done with the recap?

SOPHIA
Yes, I just wanted to say thank you for promoting me to narrator.

MAT
Oh. Umm. You’re welcome?

SOPHIA
Now, please proceed with the remainder of the episode.

MAT
K…

MAX
Well, this sucks.

TAMMY
What, that I’m moving out, and you’ll miss me, or that you’ll be living with a complete stranger?

MAX
I’m fine with you leaving, I just don’t want Linus to go!

LINUS
Aww, don’t worry, we’ll still see each other all the time!

MAX
You say that now, but I don’t trust it. You still haven’t even told me where you’ll be living.

TAMMY
That’s because we wanted it to be a surprise, stupid.

MAX
Oh god, you’re not moving down the hall, are you?

TAMMY
The 3 hours we just spent loading the moving truck weren’t for show. We’re definitely leaving the building.

MAX
Okay, good. Then why is it a surprise?

TAMMY
It just is.

MAX
Are you gonna tell me?

LINUS
I’m waiting for Elijah.

ELIJAH
Linus, I’ve been standing here for like 5 minutes.

LINUS
Oh! Hi!

ELIJAH
Are you serious? I’m not invisible and you STILL don’t notice me?

LINUS
Hey, you’re really quiet.

ELIJAH
And you’re an ass.

LINUS
I deserve that. How are you doing, anyway? Still adjusting?

ELIJAH
It’s been great, to be honest. Max and I got coffee this morning, and I was able to order in person instead of online.

MAX
And I didn’t look like I was talking to myself!

ELIJAH
People were still staring at us, though.

MAX
Yeah, because they’re jealous of how cute we are!

ELIJAH
No, hun, they were staring at your rack.

TAMMY
Now you know what it feels like!

LINUS
I like your rack better anyway.

MAX/TAMMY
Thank you!

MAX
Oh, you meant her.

TAMMY
Of course he did! I swear, you love Linus more than me.

ELIJAH
You get that vibe, too, huh?

MAX
Hey, he’s the first bro I’ve ever had. Leave us alone!

LINUS
Our love is sacred!

TAMMY
Oh, geez.

LINUS
Sorry, better halves, you either accept our bromance, or we’re going off on our own.

ELIJAH
Hey, you can take him.

MAX
Fine, if that’s how it’s gonna be, I won’t mind tucking in at night with a security blanket.

LINUS
Yeah, and I won’t mind… bucking all night.

TAMMY
Too far, babe.

LINUS
Yeah, I heard it.

ELIJAH
Hey, the only bucking he’ll be doing at night is with me!

TAMMY
Elijah! So direct and honest, I love it.

ELIJAH
Hey, maybe you should call me Frank from now on. Because…

MAX
Because you were being frank! Ba-dum ching!

TAMMY
Ugh, kill me.

MAX
Okay, before you guys drive away in your moving van, you need to tell us where you’re going!

LINUS
Do we have time? Isn’t your new roommate supposed to be stopping by any minute?

TAMMY
Elijah, I still don’t understand why you didn’t want to move in.

ELIJAH
I’ve only been visible for a couple of weeks, and Max and I are obviously in a good place, but the timing isn’t right.

MAX
Yeah, and Gale recommended this guy when I asked if she knew anyone looking for a place.

LINUS
How did she know him? Did they meet at Rose Academy?

MAX
She didn’t say.

TAMMY
Hey, he already signed the sublease and paid for the first month’s rent, so at least he’s reliable!

MAX
Yeah, I haven’t even had a chance to speak to him yet, but Tam set him up with the landlord for me.

LINUS
I hope he doesn’t end up being a douchebag.

MAX
Hey, it can’t be worse than your sister’s boyfriend and former bully showing up at your doorstep to crash for a few nights, and then staying for an entire year.

LINUS
Oof, that hurts my heart. What’s the new guy’s name?

TAMMY
He said it was Jay.

LINUS
Like the letter, or the name?

TAMMY
I don’t know!

MAX
Anyway, yeah, he’s supposed to be here soon, but I wanted you both to meet him anyway.

ELIJAH
Now stop making excuses and tell us where you’re moving!

LINUS
I should probably preface this with some other news I’ve been keeping from you.

MAX
Uh oh, should I be concerned?

LINUS
What? Oh, no, no, no.

TAMMY
Linus is BLEEPing rich again and we’re moving into his mansion!

LINUS
Wow, you’ve known over a week but you couldn’t hold it in for 30 more seconds?

TAMMY
Sorry, it just gushed out.

MAX
Ew, don’t say gush. Ugh!

ELIJAH
I’m gonna need a bit more backstory here.

MAX
Yeah, your Dad isn’t dead, so it’s not like you inherited it.

ELIJAH
And your mom is technically alive, too.

MAX
And the new mysterious sister you have is probably a factor, too, right?

LINUS
Before Tammy blurted, I was SAYING I need to preface it with some other news, which deals with my dad’s financial holdings.

ELIJAH
Okay…?

LINUS
When Sally revealed our identities in Blue Moon’s livestream, Dad apparently transferred everything — Montgomery Innovations, all of our properties and holdings — to me. Well, split evenly between his “living children.”

MAX
Do you think it’s because he foresaw his imprisonment?

ELIJAH
And his subsequent mind wipe?

LINUS
No, I think it was because he and Sally were known criminals, so it was to appease the stakeholders. Who are also probably bad guys. Oh god, am I running a criminal empire now?

TAMMY
We can worry about that later.

LINUS
Ugh!

MAX
So your mysterious other sister, who probably doesn’t know you exist, is also suddenly a millionaire but doesn’t know it yet?

TAMMY
(cough) Billionaire! (cough)

LINUS
Oh shut up, who knows if the government’s going to swoop in and take everything away. They’ve probably been investigating since Dad’s identity was revealed.

ELIJAH
So, Max is going to be living with a random stranger because he can’t afford the apartment on his own, when you could easily pay for it yourself?

MAX
Hey! You’re right!

LINUS
It might be dirty money! I don’t want anyone else associated with my money or my business. No legal or illegal connections!

TAMMY
Aww, that means we can’t get married anytime soon.

LINUS
Oh my god, babe, really? I’ve had the ring for a while, but I didn’t think you wanted to!

TAMMY
I was joking!

LINUS
Oh. Yeah. Joking. I knew that. I was joking too! Obviously. Eww, marriage is for squares. Yuck.

MAX
Wow.

ELIJAH
Awkward!

LINUS
By “ring,” I was referring to a ring pop I bought. Nothing is more convenient than some candy on your finger!

MAX
Tam, I think you broke Linus.

TAMMY
It’s okay, I found the ring like 2 weeks ago.

LINUS
What?!

TAMMY
Hey, I snoop!

LINUS
What is it with you two? First Max reads my journal and then you find my mother’s old ring?

ELIJAH
Oooo, is it an heirloom?

LINUS
Not the point!

TAMMY
Babe, let’s put a pin in this until we’re done moving. If you’re really that upset, we can get Retcon to come over and erase my memory.

LINUS
Whatever.

MAX
Oh my god.

ELIJAH
What?

MAX
I just got a text.

TAMMY
Yeah, we heard it.

LINUS
Who’s it from?

MAX
It’s from… Phaser.

ELIJAH
What, is he looking for a booty call?

MAX
Uhh too soon.

ELIJAH
Sorry.

TAMMY
What does it say?

MAX
Uhhh…

TAMMY
Read it outloud!

LINUS
Unless it’s a sext.

TAMMY
Especially if it’s a sext!

MAX
He’s not sexting me!

ELIJAH
Did something bad happen?

MAX
He messaged me on behalf of the A-league.

TAMMY
Yep, definitely something bad.

LINUS
Let him read it!

MAX
It says: “You really proved yourself during the battle against the Threat. The A-league has been in discussions with the B and C leagues, and we decided that you have earned a seat at the table. Congratulations, Buck.”

ELIJAH
Oh my god, really?

TAMMY
Well, he did literally save the world.

LINUS
Hey, we helped!

TAMMY
How do you feel, Maxi?

MAX
He said he’d been talking to the B-league. Did you two know about this?

TAMMY
Uhh, Pitchforce may have been included in that decision…

MAX
You knew about this and didn’t tell me?!

TAMMY
You’ll get over it.

LINUS
Is there more? There should be more.

MAX
Yeah, there is.

TAMMY
Keep reading!

MAX
He says, “The leagues are low on membership ever since the deaths of the original A-leaguers, so we are restructuring and consolidating the remaining B and C league members into a new, stronger B-league. In lieu of a C-league, we are forming a new team comprised of former sidekicks like yourself.” Oh my god, are you BLEEPing me right now?

ELIJAH
This is awesome!

LINUS
Keep reading!

MAX
“This will serve as a stepping stone for sidekicks to transition to working as equal members of a team. The group will be run by co-leaders Pitch and Security Blanket, who graciously offered to step down from the B-league.”

TAMMY
Surprise!

LINUS
And it’s not nepotism!

TAMMY
Yeah, they actually forgot we were related until I reminded them, but HR didn’t seem to think it would be an issue.

MAX
I—but—what— how is this going to work?

TAMMY
We already have 4 full time members, and three reserve members.

MAX
Seriously? Who?

LINUS
Well, you, obviously, and me and Tammy makes three.

TAMMY
And Chameleon makes four!

MAX
What!? That’s great!

ELIJAH
Why did no one tell me any of this ahead of time?

LINUS
You’ve been… dealing with some stuff.

ELIJAH
Yeah, I get it. Wait, who are the reserve members?

LINUS
While they’re all still in school, Gale, Ren, and Cassie have agreed to join on a part-time basis!

TAMMY
Lullaby is still a great alias, but Kelli-kopter and Deus ex Machina really need better names.

ELIJAH
I thought Ren didn’t want to be a hero anymore.

LINUS
With her sister’s newly defined powers, and knowing us, she figured she shouldn’t fight it anymore.

TAMMY
She loves and misses us.

MAX
Well, maybe she doesn't miss you.

TAMMY
Yeah, she already told me if I abuse my leadership role, she’ll put me to sleep and draw on my face with a permanent marker.

MAX
Such a baller jigglypuff move. Niiice.

ELIJAH
What about Sophia and Frankie?

LINUS
Sophia is officially in the A-league, replacing her father. Frankie was originally going to be her sidekick on a trial basis, but Sophia said she wasn’t sure it would stick.

TAMMY
Yeah, Frankie’s a flighty one.

ELIJAH
And what about Nick?

LINUS
Crampus is still sidekicking for Lucid Lucy. And you’re, umm… what are you doing?

ELIJAH
I’m still technically Fourth Wall’s sidekick, but I’ve been on leave ever since I lost my powers. We’re giving it some time to see if they come back, and then we’ll have to figure it all out, I guess…

MAX
Well, you’ll always have a place with us, no matter what.

ELIJAH
Not if I don’t have my powers.

TAMMY
That’s not necessarily true. We still need a manager of sorts. Someone to run comms, keep things working at HQ.

ELIJAH
Oh. That’s… nice.

LINUS
Yeah, I know, that sounds super boring.

MAX
Let’s just wait, okay? No need to talk about this now.

ELIJAH
Thanks.

MAX
I do agree, though. We’d be happy to have you on Pitchforce.

TAMMY
We’re not calling it that anymore.

MAX
Really?

LINUS
Yup, Tammy has a much better suggestion.

MAX
What is it?

TAMMY
Well, Maxi, you are now an official member of the newest, coolest superteam in town. We are… the Second Fiddles!

MAX
No! You’re BLEEPing BLEEPing me!

LINUS
No, really. They loved the name.

TAMMY
Well, they tolerated it.

LINUS
I’m pretty sure Sophia’s vote of confidence helped.

TAMMY
Whatever.

MAX
Hey, Phaser just sent another text. He says: “I’m really sorry for treating you the way I did. It was wrong of me to abuse our relationship as hero and sidekick, and I hope you can forgive me one day. I hope your guy knows how lucky he is to have such a good catch. I’m proud of you, and I hope we can work together in the future. I promise I’ll be wearing pants.”

LINUS
Hey, that’s not terrible!

TAMMY
I’m not saying this excuses his behavior, but at least he apologized. That’s more than I could say about Slap after she got all pervy with me.

MAX
Yeah, but Slap was eventually fired for repeating her rapey patterns with other sidekicks. Hopefully, Phaser learned something and can move forward without being such a flirty, forceful, nudist slut.

ELIJAH
Aww, you took the words right out of my mouth.

MAX
Does that leave room in your mouth for anything else?

ELIJAH
Max!

LINUS
I’m glad we’re moving out, because you’re starting to sound like Tammy.

MAX
I meant room for food. That wasn’t a sexy thing. I’m hungry!

TAMMY
Hungry for a dicking!

MAX
Anyway, I have to use the bathroom, then we can figure out where we’re ordering takeout from. Is that okay?

ELIJAH
Sounds good to me!

TAMMY
I hope the bathroom doesn't smell like barf.

LINUS
Uhh, why would it?

TAMMY
When you were carrying out the last couple boxes to the truck, I got queasy and hurled in the toilet.

ELIJAH
Ummmm…

LINUS
Why didn’t you say anything?

TAMMY
I dunno. It happened yesterday, too. I think I just had a really bad burrito.

LINUS
That sucks.

ELIJAH
Uhhh, are you sure it was the burrito?

TAMMY
What else would it be?

ELIJAH
Have you never seen a tv show or a movie before? A woman puking usually means she’s pregnant.

LINUS
Oh BLEEP, Tammy, he’s right!

TAMMY
That’s not even a possibility. We always use protection.

LINUS
Well, but there was that one time we…

TAMMY
Linus. Alexander. Montgomery. You promised that was foolproof. You literally swore on your mother. You had your hand on the journal and everything.

LINUS
Which in retrospect was a little creepy.

TAMMY
Linus…!

LINUS
I don’t know, maybe I lost concentration or something at the end and something slipped through?

TAMMY
Linus! I told you using a forcefield as a condom was a bad idea!

LINUS
You don’t know that!

ELIJAH
Oh my god, I can’t handle this conversation right now.

ELIJAH
Oh, hey, a convenient distraction!

WALLCRAWLER
Uh, hello? Sorry to just barge right in, but the door was already open a little.

TAMMY
(sigh) Linus, we’re not done talking about this.

LINUS
Understood. Hi there, you must be Jay. Welcome to your new apartment!

TAMMY
Sorry if you heard any of that. It’s been a long day.

WALLCRAWLER
I get it. Moving is stressful. So is possibly conceiving a child through a forcefield.

TAMMY
Great. Just great.

WALLCRAWLER
It’s okay. I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine.

TAMMY
What are you talking about?

ELIJAH
Seriously? Do I have to explain everything?

WALLCRAWLER
Oh, hey, I didn’t see you there!

ELIJAH
BLEEP you, dude.

WALLCRAWLER
Whoa, cute AND hostile? Are you my new roomie?

ELIJAH
No, that would be my boyfriend.

LINUS
Am I missing something?

WALLCRAWLER
I don’t know, are you?

ELIJAH
Linus, don’t yourecognize him?

LINUS
Should I?

ELIJAH
Imagine him with a mask covering his eyes…? While he’s walking on the ceiling!

LINUS
Huh?

ELIJAH
Okay, let me be a little more clear: he killed your sister.

LINUS
Oh, BLEEP, I thought your voice sounded familiar.

WALLCRAWLER
You guys didn’t know? I assumed Gale already told you! I wasn’t trying to spring anything on you, I swear!

LINUS
How do you know Gale?

WALLCRAWLER
I met her when she was looking for Eloise a while back. And I met Lullaby and Deus ex Machina, too, during the battle.

TAMMY
Ren did say you helped them…

WALLCRAWLER
Hey, roommate’s boyfriend, do you have a name?

ELIJAH
Elijah.

WALLCRAWLER
Well, Elijah, how do you know me? I don’t recognize you.

ELIJAH
The last time we met, I was… invisible.

WALLCRAWLER
Holy moly! Invisidude? Damn, you’re even cuter than I thought you’d be. And taller!

ELIJAH
Why does it suddenly matter how I look?

TAMMY
Uh, because humans are shallow. And despite your red hair, you’re adorable.

ELIJAH
What do you mean, despite my red hair?

LINUS
So, Jay, you’re friends with Gale now? And she thought it was a good idea for you to live with my girlfriend’s brother?

WALLCRAWLER
Literally, yes. That’s the only reason I knew about this place. I’m SO sorry about the miscommunication. I really thought you knew and were trying to let bygones be bygones.

TAMMY
Babe, he already paid and signed the lease stuff.

WALLCRAWLER
I’m attempting to put down some roots in Rose City. After the… horrible Sally situation, Lullaby told me to stop with the vigilante act and try to turn legit, so I’m actually taking her advice. I want to follow the rules and do my part; Be a friendly neighborhood hero guy!

LINUS
Well, I guess we can leave it up to Max. I have slightly more life-altering things to focus on.

WALLCRAWLER
Wait, her brother’s name is Max?

TAMMY
Yes? How did that never come up before?

WALLCRAWLER
Oh god, your last name isn’t Loft, is it?

TAMMY
Yeah, Tamsin Loft.

WALLCRAWLER
And that would make your brother…

TAMMY
Maxim Loft. Max.

WALLCRAWLER
Oh, BLEEP.

MAX
Are you guys talking about me? I originally just had to pee, but I ended up having to poop. Oh, and it smells like barf in there, but it was like that when I got there, I swear.

LINUS
What’s going on? I’m SO confused.

WALLCRAWLER
Uh, hi, Max.

MAX
Parker? What are you—what are you doing here?

ELIJAH
Wait, you know each other?

LINUS
Hey, what a small world!

TAMMY
Parker? I thought you said your name was Jay.

WALLCRAWLER
I don’t really like Jay, so I usually go by my middle name. Which is Parker.

TAMMY
Well, his paperwork did say Jay P. Peters.

WALLCRAWLER
That’s me! Jay Parker Peters.

MAX
Why are you here?

WALLCRAWLER
Surprise! I’m your new roommate! Also, you have antlers now. They’re… really big!

MAX
Yes, I’m aware.

ELIJAH
How do you know each other?

TAMMY
Did you go to Rose Academy or something?

MAX
Tam, he’s the guy. The one I told you about.

TAMMY
Wait, I thought Linus was the guy.

LINUS
What guy?

MAX
No, not the guy who bullied me, no offense—

LINUS
I deserve it.

MAX
The other guy.

TAMMY
Oh, BLEEP, your first love who popped your cherry only to move away and break your heart?

MAX
Tammy!!

WALLCRAWLER
Max, I was your first love?

MAX
I- this is— this is a lot.

WALLCRAWLER
When my family moved overseas and I had to go with them, it broke my heart, too.  I… (sigh) I’m so sorry. I should’ve stayed in touch, but it was too hard. You were my first love, too.

ELIJAH
Okay, am I dreaming? Is this Lucid Lucy poking around in my brain? This is so typical.

MAX
Elijah, are you okay?

ELIJAH
What do you think?! I mean, come on, I understand the whole conflict and resolution thing, but we’re finally back together… and happy! And now you’re about to cohabitate with your ex-boyfriend, who you very clearly have unresolved feelings for, and if I get jealous about it, I’ll be reinforcing a pattern, so I don’t even know what to do or say!

TAMMY
Hey, this is totally justifiable. Be as jealous as you want.

LINUS
Yeah, this dude is mighty handsome. I mean, he’s not ME, but he’s pretty comely.

MAX
Ew, don’t use the word comely. And Elijah, don’t worry. I love you, and nothing will ever change that.

ELIJAH
Okay. I trust you.

WALLCRAWLER
Yeah. And for the record, please don’t call me Mr. Peters. That was my dad’s name.

TAMMY
What should we call you? Jay or Parker?

LINUS
Or Wallcrawler?

WALLCRAWLER
Oh-em-gee, I DON’T CRAWL.

TAMMY
Max probably has some stories about you on your knees.

ELIJAH
BLEEP you, Tammy.

MAX
Yeah, Tam, read the room.

WALLCRAWLER
Only my family uses my first name. Call me Parker.

LINUS
Well, Parker, I’ve been dying to ask, do you have an alias?

TAMMY
Yeah, we’ve been referring to you as “that vigilante” or “wallcrawler.”

ELIJAH
Or douchebag.

LINUS
Or murderer!

TAMMY
That too. But seriously, what should we call you when you’re out in the field?

WALLCRAWLER
That’s easy. You and the rest of Rose City can call me… Cliff Hanger!

ELIJAH
Seriously?

LINUS
Oh, no, please don’t tell me we’re ending this season with a “Cliff Hanger.” That’s so cheesy.

TAMMY
Yet fitting, if we’re being honest.

MAX
Ending what season?

WALLCRAWLER
Yup, you heard it here, folks. It’s Cliff Hanger time!

MAT
In this episode of Second Fiddles, Max is voiced by Mat Johnson, Tammy is voiced by Liz Thompson, Linus is voiced by Alex Sinicropi, Elijah is voiced by Nick B, Parker is voiced by Greg Maddock, Sophia is voiced by Robyn Rime, Retcon is voiced by Mia Cannale, and MacGuffin is voiced by John Pupo. Music by Pete Johnson, and writing, producing, and sound design by Mat Johnson. This was the season 3 finale of Second Fiddles. Season 4 is in the pre-production phase, but don’t worry, it’s coming! It’s definitely coming! And yes, that’s what she said. Gross.

Feel free to follow us on instagram and facebook at SecondFiddlesPodcast, tumblr at Second Fiddles, and twitter at 2ndFiddles, spelled 2-N-D-Fiddles. Transcripts of all of our episodes can be found at our website, secondfiddlespodcast.com. Thanks for listening!

It’s coming, it’s definitely coming. I said coming way too many times and I feel gross. Okay, and it’s, uhh, it’s a wrap.