Episode 24 – Gale

24 - Gale

SOUND: MUSIC FADE IN

MACGUFFIN
Previously, on Second Fiddles: Tammy’s been tasked with finding her own sidekick after being hired to replace her former B-league boss, Slap. Her search has been a complete failure thus far. Is it because the sidekicks are crappy, or because she’s too picky? I don’t know and I don’t care. I’ll let you be the judge! After all this time, we’ve arrived at Tammy’s final first-round audition. Let’s begin.

MAT
Episode 24, Gale.

SOUND: MUSIC FADE OUT

TAMMY
Hey. Hi! I see you out there. Are you hiding, or waiting?

GALE
I’m sorry. What did you say?

TAMMY
Come all the way in.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

TAMMY
Hi. I asked you if you were hiding out there, or waiting.

GALE
I don’t know.

TAMMY
You don’t know what you were doing?

GALE
I– I was waiting. And hiding.

TAMMY
Is this your first audition?

GALE
What, today?

TAMMY
No, I mean, like, ever.

GALE
Is it that obvious?

TAMMY
If you had a tail, I’m pretty sure it would be tucked between your legs right now.

GALE
(under her breath) I do have a tail.

TAMMY
You’ll have to speak up. I can’t hear you.

GALE
I do have a tail.

TAMMY
What?

GALE
See?

TAMMY
Oh, so you do. And it’s tucked between your legs. How fitting.

GALE
Are you making fun of me?

TAMMY
No. I mean, maybe a little. You don’t exactly seem confident. Do you wanna be here?

GALE
Oh, yes, very much.

TAMMY
Tell me, what’s your name?

GALE
I’m still working on it.

TAMMY
What’re you currently using?

GALE
Kelli-kopter.

TAMMY
Any particular reason you went with that?

GALE
I almost chose Gusty, because my mom told me her favorite My Little Pony from her childhood was named Gusty.

TAMMY
Hmm. Yeah. Stick with Kelli-kopter for now. It’s... unique.

GALE
Thanks!

TAMMY
You have one of those ageless faces, I can’t tell if you’re like 12 or 40.

GALE
I’m 21.

TAMMY
Are you in college?

GALE
Yeah, I’m currently attending Rose Academy. I’ve been taking classes part-time, so it’s going to take me a bit longer than 4 years to finish.

TAMMY
What’s your major?

GALE
Team Support.

TAMMY
Good choice. That was my brother’s major when he went there. Why didn’t you go for leadership?

GALE
Oh, I don’t need to be in the spotlight. I like helping people.

TAMMY
Are you saying that because it’s what you think I want to hear, or because you mean it?

GALE
Oh, no, I would never lie during an audition!

TAMMY
If you did, you wouldn’t be the first.

GALE
Really?

TAMMY
Have you been living under a rock?

GALE
No. Sorry, there’s a lot I don’t know.

TAMMY
Where did you grow up?

GALE
I’m from Rose City, but I was homeschooled until college.

TAMMY
Let me guess, you don’t live on campus.

GALE
Oh, no, that would be a waste of money. I commute.

TAMMY
Do you ever go to college parties?

GALE
I think those parties have alcohol, but I just turned 21 a few weeks ago, so I haven’t had the chance yet.

TAMMY
We are very different people. Well, you’re old enough now, if the law’s what was holding you back. Have you tried booze yet?

GALE
I had a glass of wine on my birthday, but I didn’t like it. It gave me a headache.

TAMMY
I have to ask: Why were you homeschooled? Are your parents religious? Hippies? Doomsday preppers?

GALE
I’ve never been to a church, and I don’t think we’re hippies. What’s a doomsday prepper?

TAMMY
Nevermind.

GALE
Does it matter why I was homeschooled?

TAMMY
No, I guess not. Let’s talk about your abilities. I’m guessing from your name that it has something to do with flying?

GALE
Yes, it does.

TAMMY
So, uhh, are you going to tell me about it?

GALE
Oh! Sorry. Yes. I can move air.

TAMMY
Care to elaborate?

GALE
I can make wind.

TAMMY
Okay, this is like pulling teeth. Is your tail related to your powers?

GALE
I think so. It helps me balance. Want to see it closer?

TAMMY
Sure! Oh, wow! Are these scales?

GALE
It’s like a dinosaur tail.

TAMMY
Is the end covered in feathers?

GALE
Yup!

TAMMY
Then isn’t it more of a bird tail?

GALE
Dinosaurs had feathers, too. Did you know that birds evolved from dinosaurs? Or they at least share a common ancestor?

TAMMY
Huh. You know, I’ve never met a homeschooled kid before who believed in evolution.

GALE
Really? That’s odd. What do they believe in?

TAMMY
An invisible flying spaghetti monster?

GALE
Whoa, really?

TAMMY
No. I’m guessing that you’re pretty gullible, so I’ll avoid jokes from now on.

GALE
Thank you.

TAMMY
So, how does a feathered dinosaur tail help you balance?

GALE
It helps when I’m flying.

TAMMY
How does that work?

GALE
I don’t have wings, but I can control the air around me to keep afloat. It’s not exactly levitating, and it’s not exactly flying. It’s more like a helicopter. Or a hovercraft.

TAMMY
Hence the name Kelli-kopter. Got it. What does this have to do with your tail?

GALE
It’s really hard to stay balanced when I’m flying. My tail’s kind of like a rudder. I have to concentrate, but it keeps me stable.

TAMMY
Can I see a demonstration of your abilities?

GALE
Trying to fly inside a small room like this isn’t safe. Want me to go outside? It’s much better out there.

TAMMY
If you were my sidekick, you might have to use your powers indoors a lot. I think you should show me here.

GALE
Are you sure?

TAMMY
I can handle it. Let me go close the door first.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS

LINUS
Hey babe!

TAMMY
Linus! Is Max okay?

LINUS
What? Why wouldn’t he be?

TAMMY
Well, why else would you be creeping outside my audition?

LINUS
Max is on another insanely long-distance phone call with Invisidude, and they’re being really mushy. And they use way too many sexual innuendos. Now I know what it must feel like to overhear one of our conversations. Anyway, I wanted to surprise you! You know, get a burrito, maybe, or see a movie. I don’t know. Celebrate your final audition. I can throw together a picnic if you want. But you’re not really a picnic girl, are you?

TAMMY
Please, no picnic. Okay, this is super sweet, and I love that you’re here, but I have to get back to work. Kelli-kopter’s about to show me how her powers work.

LINUS
I know. I was listening. Could I come watch? I really want to see what she can do.

TAMMY
I don’t know…

LINUS
I’ll let you do that thing to me you like to do!

TAMMY
Which one? The pegging or the thing with my feet?

LINUS
Your choice!

TAMMY
Hmm. Okay! You have a mask to cover your eyes?

LINUS
Yup, right here in my pocket.

TAMMY
Nice. Follow me.

SOUND: DOOR CLOSING, FOOTSTEPS

TAMMY
Kelli-kopter, we have a guest here for the remainder of your audition. Is that okay?

GALE
I- okay, I guess.

LINUS
Hi, I’m Security Blanket!

GALE
Linus? Is that you?

LINUS
Gale! Oh my god, I haven’t seen you since Rose Academy!

GALE
It’s so good to see you! Are you still a hugger?

LINUS
You bet. Come here!

TAMMY
Umm, what the BLEEP.

GALE
Oh golly, this is super unprofessional. How do you know each other, Pitch?

TAMMY
Well, considering that you’re the one who just jumped into my boyfriend’s arms, why don’t you tell me?

LINUS
Tammy, this is Gale. She was a freshman when I was a senior.

TAMMY
You make wind and your name is Gale?

GALE
I know. My mom says it’s the ultimate irony.

LINUS
When someone studying “team support” starts their first year, they get paired with someone in the leadership track to see how they deal with strong personalities. I was Gale’s strong personality!

GALE
How are you doing? Dating a superhero, I see!

LINUS
You betcha! Did you graduate? Is this your first audition?

GALE
I haven’t finished yet, but I thought I would dip my toe in and give it a try anyway!

LINUS
Tammy, hire this girl right this instant.

TAMMY
That’s not how it works, babe. Especially considering her lack of experience…

LINUS
But she’s Gale the Tail! She was like my little sister the whole last year at school.

TAMMY
Gale the Tail? What is it with you giving people awful nicknames in college?

GALE
I liked it! Everyone remembered my name.

TAMMY
Well, you took it better than my brother did.

GALE
Did I go to school with your brother, too?

TAMMY
It sounds like it.

LINUS
He graduated the same year as me. Do you remember Max? The awkward guy with the bird?

GALE
Oh. My. Gosh! I wanted to be Doolots! He was the smartest kid in school, and his power was super cool. I’m normally pretty shy, so I never had the confidence to talk to him, and he was really private, so I didn’t want to bother him.

LINUS
Hey, I don’t think he was the smartest, he just spent all of his time studying…

TAMMY
Give it up, you were second place. Deal with it.

LINUS
Rude.

GALE
I love that you’re Max’s sister. That’s so nifty!

TAMMY
So nifty. You know, I think you’re probably the only person to ever look up to him. For anything. Ever.

GALE
I don’t believe that. How is he? What has he been up to?

TAMMY
Remember the Stag? Max was his sidekick, Buck.

GALE
I thought so! I like his helmet with the little antlers on it. It’s my favorite part of his costume.

TAMMY
Well, it’s less of a costume now…

GALE
Is he okay? I heard a rumor that the Stag died. Is that true?

TAMMY
Yeah, that’s not a rumor.

GALE
Oh no! How is Max doing?

TAMMY
Not great.

GALE
Losing his hero must’ve been devastating. That’s so sad!

TAMMY
Yeah. It’ll take time for him to adjust.

LINUS
Let’s not talk about sad stuff right now. You’re here to show Pitch here your powers, right?

GALE
Yeah, but it’s dangerous indoors.

LINUS
Have you gotten a lot stronger since we saw each other last?

GALE
You could say that.

LINUS
I remember that you could blow small things around and make people’s ears pop. Tam, she was great. One day, the furnace in one of the academic buildings broke and was stuck in overdrive, and we were sweating our butts off, so Gale saved the day and brought in a cool breeze.

TAMMY
Your nostalgia is touching, but let’s get down to business.

GALE
Okay, I’m gonna stand in the middle of the room. I suggest you both move toward the wall.

TAMMY
Okay.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS

TAMMY
All set?

GALE
Yep!

TAMMY
Show me what you got.

GALE
Brace yourselves.

SOUND: WIND, SOFT AT FIRST, THEN PICKING UP SPEED AND VOLUME
SOUND: PAPERS RUSTLING AND BLOWING IN THE WIND

LINUS
Hey babe, I hope you didn’t need all those papers.

TAMMY
Nah, I don’t bother actually printing out their resumes, I just keep blank paper to doodle on if they’re boring!

LINUS
Hey, Gale, this is awesome! You’ve come a long way!

GALE
This is nothing. I’m only at a 3 right now.

TAMMY
A 3? Out of what, 5?

GALE
No, out of 10.

TAMMY
No need to destroy this room! You’re good! You’re fine!

GALE
What’s that? You wanna see me fly? Uhh, okay!

SOUND: WIND GETS LOUDER

LINUS
Oh wow, she has lift off!

TAMMY
Be careful!

GALE
What? Uh oh. Ah.. Ah!

SOUND: GALE SLAMS INTO CEILING AND THEN CRASHES TO THE FLOOR. WIND IMMEDIATELY STOPS.

LINUS
Gale! Gale, are you okay?

GALE
(groans)

TAMMY
I’m not sure what you hit harder, the ceiling or the floor.

GALE
(groaning) I told you it was hard to fly indoors.

TAMMY
How do you feel? Anything broken?

GALE
Just my pride. Uh, I can’t believe I just bombed my first real audition for a hero.

LINUS
Oh shut up, you were great.

TAMMY
Yeah, that was actually impressive. And you did warn me.

GALE
So I’m not the worst sidekick you’ve ever auditioned?

TAMMY
(exaggerated laugh, then sigh) Far from it. Don’t worry, kid, you’re not out of the running yet.

LINUS
You okay to stand?

GALE
I think so.

LINUS
Wait, I’ll help.

GALE
Thanks.

LINUS
You good?

GALE
I’m fine. No blood, no broken bones, maybe just some bruises.

TAMMY
You’re pretty tough for being so tiny.

GALE
Thank you! I think...

TAMMY
That was cool, but how much control do you have?

GALE
What do you mean?

TAMMY
So, you can make wind, and blow stuff around on a large scale, but can you do anything… smaller?

GALE
Oh. I think I know what you’re talking about. Yeah, I have a bunch of tricks. I can pull something out of someone’s hands, or blow a concentrated gust toward their legs to trip them. I can whisper messages, too, and send them across a room on a breeze to someone’s ear. That one comes in handy.

TAMMY
Hmm. You’re pretty versatile, aren’t you?

GALE
I’ve spent a lot of time practicing.

TAMMY
 I can tell. Linus, do you have any questions for Kelli-kopter?

LINUS
Not really. But I do have a story!

TAMMY
Oh geez.

LINUS
 One time, after a big snow storm, we came up with the coolest way to combine our powers. Gale, should we show her?

GALE
There’s no snow. And my whole body hurts.

LINUS
Oh, right. I’ll just describe it. We can make... a life-size snow globe.

TAMMY
What? Why?

LINUS
Because we can.

GALE
It’s actually really fun.

LINUS
I surround us in a big, round force field, and Gale makes the snow swirl around us. It’s so cool!

TAMMY
Sounds festive. Kelli-kopter, if you’re spent, I think it’s best that you go home and relax. It might take me a while to make up my mind, but I’ll contact you either way. The B-league needs an answer in like 6 weeks, I think, so I don’t need to rush anything. I have a lot to think about.

GALE
I’m really glad I got to meet you, Pitch, and I’m happy I got to see Linus again. I promise, I have better control over my powers than you saw. It’s only hard when I’m trying to fly, and only indoors.

TAMMY
I believe you. I enjoyed meeting you, too. Now give my boyfriend another hug and get outta here.

GALE
Thanks!

LINUS
Come in for a big one, Gale the Tail!

GALE
(Hug grunt) I missed you, Linus. Get my number from your girlfriend. No matter what happens with the job, it would be so nice to catch up more in a week or two.

LINUS
You bet! I missed you too. Before you go, you should know... your hair is a mess.

GALE
Oh, yeah. A nasty side effect of using my powers is what I like to call “Rollercoaster hair.” I should’ve pulled my hair back.

TAMMY
There’s a bathroom on the right as you’re leaving.

GALE
Great. Thank you! Bye!

LINUS
Bye, Gale!

TAMMY
Thanks for coming.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING

LINUS
So, she’s the one, right?

TAMMY
I like her, but I don’t know.

LINUS
What? Why not?

TAMMY
I’ve been waiting for, like, a feeling. Like an instant click.

LINUS
Have you ever had that click with a hero before?

TAMMY
No, not really.

LINUS
Do you want to find more sidekicks to audition? Start from scratch?

TAMMY
I said I don’t know!

LINUS
Okay, okay. You said you have what, 6 weeks? That’s plenty of time to dip back into the applicant pool if you need to.

TAMMY
What if I’m not a sidekick kinda hero? What if I just go solo?

LINUS
That’s up to you, babe. Or maybe that’s up to the B-league. I don’t really know how it works.

TAMMY
Everything’s always a little political, but I might be able to make up an excuse to skip the sidekick phase. Like, my powers could damage their hearing, so it’s safer to be alone?

LINUS
I mean, that is slightly true, so it’s not like you’d be lying.

TAMMY
I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t surprised to see you today. You really wanted to come celebrate? I mean, there isn’t anything to actually celebrate yet.

LINUS
Of course! I mean, I’m also hungry, and there’s only enough bread left at home for one sandwich, and I don’t want to deprive Max of his lunch.

TAMMY
You know, I met a henchie named Sandwich once.

LINUS
Really? Could they summon sand storms or something?

TAMMY
What? Oh, no. Not a Sand Witch. Sandwich, like what you were talking about. The food kind.

LINUS
Oh. My bad. What could Sandwich do?

TAMMY
He was a serial killer. He didn’t have any powers that I was aware of, but his calling card was leaving behind chunks of his victims in between slices of bread. And he always used the skimpy gross crust ends of the bread.

LINUS
Eww, no one likes the heel!

TAMMY
That should’ve been the first clue he was a serial killer, really. His friends and family were like “Oh there were never any signs, he was so sweet” but come on. Who prefers the crust?

LINUS
What a monster.

TAMMY
I know you’re usually the “eat the last slice of pizza” person, so it shows some real restraint in saving some food for Max. I never told you how proud I am of you for getting him to leave the apartment.

LINUS
It’s okay, I like spending time with him.

TAMMY
With ID ripped away from him like 5 minutes after they finally made a connection, and with Sophia gone and Ren working multiple jobs, he needs a good support system.

LINUS
What about Eloise?

TAMMY
She needs to stop coming inside so much. The amount of bird poop I’ve had to clean off the floor this week is disgusting.

LINUS
Hey, Max tried to clean it up the first time, but he knocked over a lamp and punctured a hole in the side of the couch.

TAMMY
Those antlers need to go.

LINUS
We could try to figure out a way to shrink them or cut them off without them growing back, right?

TAMMY
Maybe. I don’t wanna get Maxi’s hopes up.

LINUS
He’s tough, I think he can handle a lot. In fact, he’s inspired me to be more brave myself.

TAMMY
Uh oh. Should I be worried?

LINUS
No, no. I just need to tell you something important.

TAMMY
Does this have anything to do with your father?

LINUS
Indirectly, yes. Hold on.

SOUND: FORCEFIELD GENERATION SWOOSH

LINUS
Okay, it’s safe to tell you with the forcefield up.

TAMMY
What’s this about?

LINUS
I confided in Max about something. Not on purpose, really, but it happened, and I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and it’s time you knew.

TAMMY
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

LINUS
It’s about my mom.

TAMMY
Oh. So, what did you want to tell me?

LINUS
My mom’s alive. I know you’ve been respectful and haven’t asked much about her, but Max assumed she was dead, and I wanted to start with that.

TAMMY
Where is she?

LINUS
She’s... It’s complicated. It’s a long story.

TAMMY
I have nothing but time.

LINUS
You sure?

TAMMY
Yeah.

LINUS
Okay, so my mom’s in a bag in your apartment.

TAMMY
I think I need to sit down for this.

LINUS
Oh god, that came out wrong. Let’s try this again: My mom has the power to travel into books. And she’s currently hiding from my dad in my journal.

TAMMY
Okay. I think you need to start from the beginning.

LINUS
Sorry. Yeah. Okay.

TAMMY
Babe, it’s fine. Really.

LINUS
Okay. So. Here’s how it all started…

SOUND: FADE IN MUSIC

MAT
In this episode of Second Fiddles, Tammy is voiced by Liz Thompson, Linus is voiced by Alex Sinicropi, MacGuffin is voiced by John Pupo, and Gale is voiced by Betsy Harris. Music by Pete Johnson, and writing, producing, all that other stuff, by Mat Johnson. Thanks for listening!